I need feedback on my poem!

Question

I was falling asleep last night when a random sentence popped into my head - "danced upon the parapets." This morning I wrote a poem with that line in it, except I need feedback, please. By the way, it's supposed to be kind of a free-verse poem thing. Here it is:

Innocence shines in the eyes

Of the little girl

Who dances upon the parapets.

(Parapets are protective railings along a tower, roof, or balcony.)

GalacticBiRavenclaw (Caroline ) published on May 12, 2015

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vive_la_revolution · Answer 1 · on May 12, 2015

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I love those lines! But maybe it should be longer? I see that as maybe a possible narrative poem.

Thanks! I'll probably make it longer :D

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