Do Not Read This.

Do Not Read This.

Trying to make the beginning of a Fantasy novel. Not sure if I'll keep this version, I've restarted about 10 different ways, so probably not. Oh well, enjoy. Please give comments, suggestions, critiques, I would love to be a great writer one day ;)

published on April 17, 201392 reads 48 readers 24 not completed
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Chapter 3.

Busted and Lead Elsewhere.

A boot pushes heavily on my side, the same side that was kicked last night. In my mind, my thoughts flee in panic as I am no longer in control of my movements and pain throbs in my ribs. I scream in my head, in pain, in fear. I've been caught. Rule number 2: Never get caught. And if you follow Rule Number 1 (Don't be Vulnerable) then Number 2 shouldn't be a problem.
"Fancy meeting you here, I've been needing to talk to you." The electricity slowly loses its clutches on my body and I gradually regain the ability to move. "Get away.." I groan and the boot pushes down harder and I struggle to push off the heavy foot. "Get off!" I yell. I manage to roll to my back, getting two hands on the boot and shoving hard. Yet, still, the male pushes his weight down, now on my stomach, and I fight for breath. "Stop being pathetic." The male growls. "Stop fighting me, you know you can't win." After a small length of time I give up and he lifts his foot up a little so I can breathe easier. "Now, up you go." He says and he stoops over, places a strong hand under one of my arms and hauls me to my feet roughly, and uses his other hand to grab my bookbag. He keeps a firm grip on my arm and guides me down a few blocks then we take a few turns down a couple of sketchy alleys. I try to wrench my arm from his grasp a few times, but it is futile so I give up to conserve energy. He takes me through a shabby door in one of the brick buildings in the alley and half-drags me through. My eyes dart from left to right in the dark, dusty room, searching for anyone else. We cross the room and he sets me down on a standard, metal folding chair. He crosses his arms and stands in front of me menacingly. "Do you know why you are here?"
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Comments (24)

kindperson
you know what
.
.
.
. See More▼
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on July 14, 2015
Avienexjel
Good. ;)
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on July 17, 2014
MockingjayDistrict
Will you please continue? You're a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really talented writer!
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on June 06, 2014
Nobody.07
O.o *that moment when you think your writing sucks... and you've people who really like it. That's when you know you are too picky with your own stuff* XD
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on October 21, 2013
THEVAMPSDEMILOVATO
this is good
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on October 09, 2013
swageyamatobiyolo
OMG WHEN DOES THE BOOK COME OUT
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on October 08, 2013
kikizoey4me
You know if you title it do not read it most peoples natural instinct is to read it xD
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on August 27, 2013
kellygirl2
Good but well confusing
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on May 04, 2013
Nobody.07
I would like everyone to know that Qfeast automatically Copyrights all works that are posted through this site. Though yes, I think I will take off the chapters... >.>
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on April 23, 2013
GONETOOLATE
Liked it, but if something you write is really good then don't post it on the Internet for too long, someone might take it.
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on April 23, 2013
fleur22045
write more!
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on April 23, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks guys :D It means a ton, no joke :3
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on April 18, 2013
Idiot_Killjoy
.........YOU NEED TO WITE MORE OR I WILL DIE!!!!!!!!! =P
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on April 18, 2013
secretgirl
Its amazingly,I loved it
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on April 18, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks Marge!! XD
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on April 18, 2013
TheDoctorsAwesomestAssistant
AWESOME!!!!!!! I agree with everybody else:D
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on April 18, 2013
Nobody.07
I'm working on it right now, Big Mac!!
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on April 18, 2013
Bmac99
Soo Good! I want to know what she's training for so add more soon... please!
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on April 17, 2013
Nobody.07
thanks Clove ;) Means a ton when I see/hear others loving a piece of writing I created XD
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on April 17, 2013
Clove
I love this, you have great talent :)
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on April 17, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks Beauty!! ;) I will and you will find out that the father is mentally ill... etc.
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on April 17, 2013
Beauty784
I like the idea! I agree with Steph, what is the training about? Anyway, you should continue!
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on April 17, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks!! ;) Usually I don't stick to a story- obviously check out the stories I've made and they are never finished XD And this story I have rewritten several times... oh well- I will keep with this one for Qfeast!
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on April 17, 2013
HellRaiserPrincess
I see that your already becoming a great writer. This story is off to a good start and it leaves the reader to thinking: "why is she training?" I love stories like this that make the reader think and wonder you know? It's a good start and very interesting/enjoyable to read. Please continue on with this and let me know when you right more.

-Steph<3 =)
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on April 17, 2013