fleur22045

EH EH EH EH EH EH EEEH 2 N E 1
I just wanna cry myself to sleep that would genuinely be so nice. Sorry I've been good besides today btw. It's in quarantine. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep I think it'll e nice
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on April 19
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I'm so hopeless rn idk what to do I desperately need help. I've been good these days tho. Never happy but kinda numb in a good way, not like before surely. Right now I'm not good tho, I just had a crying fit and idk why, wish I could talk to someone abt it I think, would talk to mum but that thing is making me upset rn. I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself rn
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on April 19
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Currently feel like I'm always putting a bandaid on every aspect of my life. The ocd I do great for a few months only for It to come back again, studying, I just avoid everything unless I have something due, my friends, I forget everything I feel and keep it bottled, my whole life has a fat band aid on it and it's always abt to rip, I can't keep living like this
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on April 19
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Thinking back on it I think I had a full on emotional or smth breakdown in June, it was crazy, I'm so out of control with my mind and it makes me cry. I should probably get therapy, yummy thing is that no one knows abt it either. It's crazy I can be so happy but sad at the same time, idk what's wrong with me and idk why I'm liek this, I wish I knew why I cry that would be nice, saying I don't understand my thoughts or emotions is an under statement.
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on April 19
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I thought I was better during the summer but I guess not? Anyways I've been better ish these days. He's come back and stuff and it makes me feel sick but u know. And idk why it's flaring up or if it's me or the ocd idk I truly don't but it's horrible sometimes, I just wanna enjoy myself and I feel so horrible. And then I had a break down this morning and I couldn't even tell why, like I can't tell what I'm feeling. Yea the friend stuff is bad it's better ish but that's a back See More▼
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on April 19
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So much for a new decade, really hoping I do better than the sht show that was my mental health for a few parts of 2019, greatful for the times I felt good because I never wrote those down
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on January 02
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I have no clue if I can manage uni or if it’ll actually kill me, maybe I can maybe it’s the new start that I need, I’m just scared of everything changing, but it’s happening w the ppl I luv and idk its me its my fault I’m the common denominator
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on January 02
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Jesus my life is on a downward spiral and I thought June was bad
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on January 02
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Like it’s been at least a week or two since it’s gotteh this bad
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on January 02
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Wow I had a feeling before but now I know for certain, people aren’t replying to me and leaving me on read or having rly dry convos, like best fking friends. Its worse w everything and everyone and everything I was scared of is happening and i feel sick
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on January 02
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This is sad, the only pists from this year have been so bleak
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on October 11, 2019
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Am i a narcissist? Probably
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on October 11, 2019
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Its empty and thats what i hate, maybe its the lowest ive been yet? Maybe not? I cant tell, its not dramatic, its so mundane and thats even worse, i shoukd stop publishing my mental health issues on ghe fking internet im gonna regret this one day
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on October 11, 2019
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We're drifting apart, me and everyone. Its me because im the common denominator. Its not the anxiety fuelled things like before, its an empty dread thats in my stomach because i know im doing things wrong but i cant stop. Im so selfish
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on October 11, 2019
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Im supposed to be atudying for exams these holidays and im not if i fking fail ill kms
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on October 09, 2019
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Bye this was the saddest one yet i hope im doing better next time i have a feeling i wont knock on wood
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on June 11, 2019
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I dont know what there is for me anymore i have no hope i thought id be better by now i was doing so well alst year. Idk mayb its just these few days but ive dramatically been feeling worse im probably over reactibg. But those two have fkced me uo the most but tbh uts everyone. Im feeling so isolated even tho its all my faukt! Im a horrible oerson to he around and i know it uet i keep on blaming everyone else for it. Its my fault. Anyways gane of thrones is good lmao
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fleur22045
Its not, everything is worse and its been worse for a long time
on October 11, 2019
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on June 11, 2019
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This is so different from before, before it was a hopeful anxious and depressed if that even a thing, now its all down the drain like schools gonna be over and im gonna have nothing my life is literally nothing i cant do any single thing right i cant study i cant keep friends i cant make my orents happy i cant make money all i do it sit around im tired of it but i cabt stop
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on June 11, 2019
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I keep talking down below about how im not funny anymore but now!!! Ive lost my whole personality im fading into the background literally nothing i say is funny to anyone anymore, im not even the least bit charismatic. Ive just stopped trying
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on June 11, 2019
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Its flaring up again and i know its because im stressed abt the future, but also now, everyone hates me and im not good for anyone, and im not independent enough for it to not matter. Idk what im doing
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on June 11, 2019
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