Almost in the clearEven though I've felt extremely depressed my whole life my parents were completely oblivious. I tried telling my mom that I wanted to die that it was so hard for me to breathe because all I could do was fantasize was dying. She just ignored me, causing me to think that it was okay to feel this way, that it was normal.
As I compressed my feelings a few weeks later in English we had to do a poetry folder with a subject of our choice, and for me what was a better choice than my favorite thing 'Death.'
I wrote all my crazy suicidal poems thinking they were fine and normal, but my English teacher worried about me and turned it into the office causing me to be put in therapy.
Keep in mind I have high levels of social anxiety, when people talk to me about uncomfortable situations I freak and then turn red and start to shake and sweat and my heart pounds, but I manage to keep on, and just smile to keep my outer appearance calm and collected. All of this causing me to not share my feelings with my therapist, as a matter of fact she told me about her struggles and problems and I listened.
But in that April, it all changed something happened to me that broke me, I was at my lowest. I Road the school buss home and cried for hours to the point my eyes were swollen and I could barely breathe. My mom didn't know what to do so she called my therapist and out of fear of me harming myslef they sent me away...