Falling into Oblivion: Falling [Rewritten]

Falling into Oblivion: Falling [Rewritten]

Just a teaser paragraph of my story in it's rewritten form ;) (I just used a random photo for the cover image by the way) Please comment what you think! If you want more I may add another paragraph .3.

published on December 21, 20152 reads 2 readers 0 not completed
*Teaser Paragraph*

*Teaser Paragraph*

A scarlet haired girl sat on the edge of a sky-high building, kicking her legs back and forth as she gazed up at the inky sky. Her face was an alabaster white, like a porcelain dolls, and her eyes were also red, vermillion red. She was dressed entirely in black. She wore a full-length onyx black coat that gathered at her waist, a skin tight patent leather body suit that covered her from collar-bone to ankle with a low slung, thick belt on her hips that was usually used for weapons but was empty and jet black combat boots with spiked heels. She was humming to herself but it wasn’t a merry tune, in fact, it could have been considered quite eerie to most. A set of footprints were heard behind her and the red head stopped humming as a small smile formed on her face. “I know you’re there Sapphire!” the girl called out, not bothering to turn around and look behind her. “Aw, Scarlett! You couldn’t have at least pretended you didn’t know I was there” a feminine voice yelled, only slightly higher in pitch then the girl clad in black. The girl from before chuckled softly before standing up and turning around to face her best friend. There, stood a tall girl with a beaming smile, lustrous electric blue hair, bright enough that it was almost cyan, and a pair of stunning sapphire blue eyes. Unlike the red-head, the girl was not dressed in black, instead, she was clothed in different shades of midnight blue and a matching belt, also slung low on her waist.  The girl, Sapphire, giggled at her best friend. “Come on! Alex and Marc have a new mission for us” the blue haired girl shouted out as she turned and started to walk of. Scarlett nodded and followed, taking once last glance at the city below them. It was in ruins.  Most of the once great buildings had been reduced to rubble and debris. The monsters that Scarlett and the agency that she worked for, and was so focused on hunting, were roaming everywhere, only hollow shells of their former lives as humans. Now, they were but lifeless, reanimated corpses. The girl let out a silent sigh at the cities landscape but nonetheless continued following her bubbly friend.

This concludes the teaser of the new rewritten story. Constructive criticism is welcome along with any other comments. Perhaps I'll add the next paragraph of the Prologue/Chapter 1 .3.
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