Funny Cat in the Hat Poem

The Cat in the Hat is Fat

What would happen if a cat,
tried to take on a large bat.
And the cat is very fat,
And the bat is wearing a hat.
Something will turn out bad,
Someone will be glad.
For the cat crushed the bat,
And became the cat in the hat.
Then the cat got hit in the face,
And they called him a disgrace.
There stood the one man,
The cat in the hat's biggest fan.
The cat got back to his feet,
And turned around to see his old pal "Cheat".
The cat said "Why are you here?"
Cheat said "To steal your beer."
The cat challenged him to a fight,
Cheat said it wouldnt be a pleasent sight.
The cat pulled out an ear of corn,
Cheat pulled out a small horn.
They stood ready to go,
After calling each other an "Ugly hoe"
Then the cat gave him the bird,
Cheat responded by throwing a terd.
Now who is Cheat you ask?
Just a duck with a ski mask.
Then they ran towards each other,
And tried to kill one another.
The battle ended quick,
Quicker than a click.
Down went Mr. Cheat,
The cat remained on his feet.
The Cat stood there with joy,
And called cheat an "old toy".
The Cat turned around,
And couldnt believe what he found.
There stood an evil alien frying pan,
More evil than any man.
The cat didnt have a clue,
What on earth to do.
The pan came flying at the cat,
Who just threw his hat.
The pan was hit hard,
Boy was it hard.
The pan was instantly killed,
The cat was thrilled.
There when the cat thought he won,
He began to run.
He ran yelling "I did it!"
And stepped in a pile of shit.
His day had a poopy end,
He hated to pretend.
The cat got very mad,
He was no longer glad.
"I am the cat in the hat,
And I am very fat."
The cat stood there tall,
Until he took a fall.
He landed in a lake,
A lake that isnt fake.
The cat stood up and turned around,
And was frightened by what he found.
For he was now scared,
He no longer cared.
About having fun,
He knew that funtime was done.
When he saw it with his eyes,
He knew the stories were not lies.
For he knew it wasn't fake,
Because the sign said "Camp Crystal Lake."