Do Not Read This.

Do Not Read This.

Trying to make the beginning of a Fantasy novel. Not sure if I'll keep this version, I've restarted about 10 different ways, so probably not. Oh well, enjoy. Please give comments, suggestions, critiques, I would love to be a great writer one day ;)

published on April 17, 201396 reads 49 readers 24 not completed
Chapter 1.

Training; Like Most Days.

"Again." The man commanded for the umpth time. I struggle to my shaky feet. After a second of heavy breathing, I charge after my father, a slender man of over 6 feet in height. I throw an exhausted punch to his middle. I'm too slow in my fatigue. The male easily catches my thin wrist and twists it painfully behind my back, turning me so that I face away. I yell out and my father shoves me to the ground. I barely catch myself in time, my palms scrape on the uneven brick ground in the thin alleyway. I roll to my side with a groan and clutch my arm.
     "Again." He says, yet again. I squeeze my eyes shut and don't respond. My hands sting and bleed lightly as this isn't the first time they've hit the brick tonight, and they haven't healed from the last session similar to this. A boot flies into my exposed ribs. I let out a holler and my side seems to explode in pain. I forget about my arm. With watery eyes, I scramble back to my feet with a protective hand over my side. "You were vulnerable. Weak." He spits. A tear rolls down my face and I hurry to wipe it. I am not weak.
     I rush forward to attack again, with renewed strength in my anger.
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Comments (24)

kindperson
you know what
.
.
.
. See More▼
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on July 14, 2015
Avienexjel
Good.
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on July 17, 2014
MockingjayDistrict
Will you please continue? You're a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really talented writer!
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on June 06, 2014
Nobody.07
O.o *that moment when you think your writing sucks... and you've people who really like it. That's when you know you are too picky with your own stuff* XD
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on October 21, 2013
THEVAMPSDEMILOVATO
this is good
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on October 09, 2013
swageyamatobiyolo
OMG WHEN DOES THE BOOK COME OUT
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on October 08, 2013
kikizoey4me
You know if you title it do not read it most peoples natural instinct is to read it xD
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on August 27, 2013
kellygirl2
Good but well confusing
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on May 04, 2013
Nobody.07
I would like everyone to know that Qfeast automatically Copyrights all works that are posted through this site. Though yes, I think I will take off the chapters... >.>
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on April 23, 2013
GONETOOLATE
Liked it, but if something you write is really good then don't post it on the Internet for too long, someone might take it.
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on April 23, 2013
fleur22045
write more!
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on April 23, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks guys It means a ton, no joke :3
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on April 18, 2013
Idiot_Killjoy
.........YOU NEED TO WITE MORE OR I WILL DIE!!!!!!!!! =P
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on April 18, 2013
secretgirl
Its amazingly,I loved it
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on April 18, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks Marge!! XD
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on April 18, 2013
TheDoctorsAwesomestAssistant
AWESOME!!!!!!! I agree with everybody else
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on April 18, 2013
Nobody.07
I'm working on it right now, Big Mac!!
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on April 18, 2013
Bmac99
Soo Good! I want to know what she's training for so add more soon... please!
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on April 17, 2013
Nobody.07
thanks Clove Means a ton when I see/hear others loving a piece of writing I created XD
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on April 17, 2013
Clove
I love this, you have great talent
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on April 17, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks Beauty!! I will and you will find out that the father is mentally ill... etc.
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on April 17, 2013
Beauty784
I like the idea! I agree with Steph, what is the training about? Anyway, you should continue!
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on April 17, 2013
Nobody.07
Thanks!! Usually I don't stick to a story- obviously check out the stories I've made and they are never finished XD And this story I have rewritten several times... oh well- I will keep with this one for Qfeast!
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on April 17, 2013
HellRaiserPrincess
I see that your already becoming a great writer. This story is off to a good start and it leaves the reader to thinking: "why is she training?" I love stories like this that make the reader think and wonder you know? It's a good start and very interesting/enjoyable to read. Please continue on with this and let me know when you right more.

-Steph =)
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on April 17, 2013