What's your best non-swear insults?

Post as many as you want! I just need a few insults to win against my freind, I know the basic ones like:

Your birthday cirtificate was an apology letter
Were you born on a highway? Cause that's were most accidents happen
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you came unarmed
I hope you step on a lego
I bet you would be put in hufflepuff
Your parents dropped you off at school and were arrested for littering

What other good ones are there?

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Answers (14)

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3
OneWeekAtKeishas
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak Idiot.
on March 10, 2017
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2
SandxFireFan
Forking shirtballs (on The Good Place)
on January 03, 2018
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2
Mystic_Moon
I my be a jerk sometimes but I could be worse. Could be you
on April 26, 2017
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2
Veiled
"Waste of space."
on March 09, 2017
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1
TylerWay
I don't know about your friend, but my friend considers it an insult when we sing the little Einstein's song to her
on January 03, 2018
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1
kyletheconjurer
You clapped sket
on January 03, 2018
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1
Orange.Soda
I’m gonna state my nicest one:

If I wanted to die, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ
on January 03, 2018
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1
Veiled
I'd slap you, but it'd be animal abuse.
on April 27, 2017
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1
shygirl23
I don't know if this sucks but whatever...
"Sorry buy Golem from Lord of the rings saw you and thought you were his twin."
on March 06, 2017
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1
SPID3R05
Your existence was a mistake.
on March 06, 2017
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0
Boristhewolf.batim
Go rape yourself (if rape is not a bad word)
on May 18, 2017
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0
Livvi1256
Shrek called he wants his face back
on March 09, 2017
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0
All_hail_Melon_King
*cri*
Always works
on March 09, 2017
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