identishit
shit
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i will never feel not guilty for the person i was a few years ago. i was so mean and for what but my own entertainment
analog.whore
people aren’t rly that nice to the person im seeing and it genuinely makes me so sad bc they didnt do anything wrong. they’re a little bit “offputting” according to some people and when you first talk to them they can seem a little bit disinterested but theyre not. they’re just nervous. there’s literally no reason to be mean to them, they j dont rly fit in
on November 01, 2023
analog.whore
there’s rly no good reason (w the exception of legitimately terrible people who arent willing to change) and all it does is hurt people in the long run
on November 01, 2023
on November 01, 2023
on November 01, 2023
literally just realizing that the universe is a sneaky fuckk and absolutely everything going on my life seems to be helping me be more direct in every aspect
im usually SO scared to speak my mind/say what i mean. j had to reject a guy directly which is so hard for me. im learning to be more direct w the person im seeing bc they struggle w social cues so they dont always pick up on my subtle clues
on October 31, 2023
on October 31, 2023
the recap of the day:p
-met at bus stop + rode bus to this suburb
-ended up in this little japanese garden
-went into the woods and decorated ourselves with leaves
-literally j wandered around looking for cool things for a while
-went to the lake and found some cool whimsical items
-by this point it was cooling down so i gave them my scarf (this was 1000% planned ngl i specifically wore the scarf bc i knew they were going to end up being cold) See More
-eventually it j got so cold we decided to go back to the loop and go to a cafe
-found a moth. caught it and took it on the bus with us
-got off bus, released moth, i started getting genuinely concerned bc it had gotten significantly colder and they couldn’t stop shaking despite wearing my scarf and having their coat zipped (they do not handle the cold well at all + when they’re too cold for too long it can give them migraines and neither of us wanted that happening)
-went to this coffee place and got pastries and hot drinks
-met at bus stop + rode bus to this suburb
-ended up in this little japanese garden
-went into the woods and decorated ourselves with leaves
-literally j wandered around looking for cool things for a while
-went to the lake and found some cool whimsical items
-by this point it was cooling down so i gave them my scarf (this was 1000% planned ngl i specifically wore the scarf bc i knew they were going to end up being cold) See More
-eventually it j got so cold we decided to go back to the loop and go to a cafe
-found a moth. caught it and took it on the bus with us
-got off bus, released moth, i started getting genuinely concerned bc it had gotten significantly colder and they couldn’t stop shaking despite wearing my scarf and having their coat zipped (they do not handle the cold well at all + when they’re too cold for too long it can give them migraines and neither of us wanted that happening)
-went to this coffee place and got pastries and hot drinks
on October 30, 2023
i love telling my family the town where the person im talking to is from bc they all just assume its the one in florida
on October 18, 2023
ahen me and s***** went on pur first date they disclosed like their full lore to me including childhood trauma amd their dead name (knowing all of this ablut them feels ILLEGAL even tho they told me 100% willingly i did not even ask)
on October 10, 2023
happy national boyfriend day (neither of us r boys and we haven’t made things official yet)
on October 04, 2023
hate having it but emetophobia is such an interesting condition in sense that it takes over our minds and our lives completely and every thought and every action is based around it
on October 02, 2023
how does one go about sharing affection w someone who’s incredibly awkward and socially a mess without making them feel uncomfortable or pressured
like my go to for most people is holding hands but i’m so scared to just try that w them (they haven’t said anything to me about it and it’s not my place to make any guesses but based on how they talk, their interests, their tendency to shut down from time to time, and the way they actively avoid making eye contact with anyone i think there’s a possibility they’re See More in some way neurodivergent) and in my experience (as someone with adhd) nd people can SOMETIMES be super iffy about touch, i’d y hate to make them feel forced into something they don’t want LMAO
on October 02, 2023
it’s rly weird like,, we’re doing well, they seem to like me a lot and i think they’re great, we’ve gone out and we text a lot and they’ve def gotten more comfortable with me to the point where they comfortably talk about their interests and some more personal things they’ve experienced but they’re veryyy socially anxious and from what i’ve picked up on people See More aren’t usually very nice to them (it makes me feel really bad actually, i’ll literally treat them with basic human decency and they’re like “wow fr thank you so much you’re so kind and understanding” and i’m j like “you’re welcome dude but it’s no big deal i literally just told you it’s okay if ur a few minutes late bc ur train got delayed”) so i feel like if i made any sort of real move they’d prob go into shock
on October 02, 2023
on October 02, 2023
twice a week i have to go to orchestra rehearsal and pretend i didn’t make out with the bassist to radiohead
hes not it anymore bc he graduated but i also made out w one of the old guitar players which is pretty funny i think
on November 05, 2024
on September 30, 2023
thinking about how i called my friend (who i think i might cut off bc she’s really mean) out for being openly transphobic towards the person i’m talking to and she said that it’s bc she’s slovakian and “they/them pronouns are an american thing nobody does that in eastern europe” (she doesn’t know that they’re an immigrant from eastern europe)
on September 30, 2023
my dad has developed an affinity for asking me if my friends are autistic and personally i think HE need to get evaluated
update i hate making assumptions but lowkey he could possibly be right ab the person im seein tho they were telling me yesterday ab how they were upset bc find it hard to make friends and people find them a little offputting and how they like watching the same movies several times in a row and how they literally had to train themself to make “fake eye contact” See More by looking above people instead of staring directly at the ground brian u may have a point
on October 31, 2023
on September 30, 2023
genuinely makes me upset how some people feel like you’re a saint just for showing them basic human decency idk like who hurt them are they okay
on September 28, 2023
rating different holidays/holitimes in my gc
-__ panic attack: 0/10 basically we will j send the current time and panic attack when we have one. “9:05 am panic attack” (usually it’s me) these Suck
-baba alert:5/10 this is like the first one. literally j means we’re using the bathroom
-morrissey monday 8/10 i ordered a morrissey funko pop last year and it was supposed to come on monday but then it came on sunday so the holiday got ruined
-monkee moment: 7/10 this j means banging See More nothin special
-ray and dave alert: 8/10 this is when ppl start dating. we’ve had 1 of these
-9/11: 9/11 this is regular 9/11 but can also be used when something happens that we didn’t want to happen
-monkee monday: when it’s monday and ur gonna hang out with your partner 10/10 funni
-migraine monday: the current reason i’m not having a monkee monday rn (this is also an example of 9/11) (im seeing them tomorrow tho if they feel better) 0/10 (i miss them!!!!)
-babaversary: the anniversary of when we made the gc 100/10
-__ panic attack: 0/10 basically we will j send the current time and panic attack when we have one. “9:05 am panic attack” (usually it’s me) these Suck
-baba alert:5/10 this is like the first one. literally j means we’re using the bathroom
-morrissey monday 8/10 i ordered a morrissey funko pop last year and it was supposed to come on monday but then it came on sunday so the holiday got ruined
-monkee moment: 7/10 this j means banging See More nothin special
-ray and dave alert: 8/10 this is when ppl start dating. we’ve had 1 of these
-9/11: 9/11 this is regular 9/11 but can also be used when something happens that we didn’t want to happen
-monkee monday: when it’s monday and ur gonna hang out with your partner 10/10 funni
-migraine monday: the current reason i’m not having a monkee monday rn (this is also an example of 9/11) (im seeing them tomorrow tho if they feel better) 0/10 (i miss them!!!!)
-babaversary: the anniversary of when we made the gc 100/10
on September 25, 2023
ive been having bad panic attacks for the past few days and yesterday my stupid ass was like “well my anxiety pills aren’t doing anything so i’m gonna hit a doobie before my 9 am class and see if it calms me down and then i showed up 30 minutes late and still anxious with 0 filter or anything and my prof asked me to name the chord quality of the 7th chord in an e flat aeolian scale and my ass said d flat
on September 12, 2023
if ur partner is queer and/or neurodivergent you are taking them on an aquarium date that’s a canon event
on September 07, 2023
debating telling them about the dream i had last night about them but it wasn’t anything normal or cute it was literally just me convincing them to download fishdom and them thanking me for it
on September 06, 2023