Catching Roses

Jessica Holister is probably one of the smartest in the world- nicknamed by the media "Sherlock Holmes", with her identity remaining a secret. And her past, what she thought became gone, was back.

published on April 21, 201790 reads 22 readers 28 not completed
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Chapter 7.

Chapter 7- Joanna William's POV

  Well, time for the next crime scene.
    Oddly enough, we had to walk.  Why isn't something I have to question-  I realized a while ago Jessica didn't have a car.  
  After arriving, I could tell she was hiding how annoyed she was at the press, and that was honestly understandable.  All they'd ask her about is Sherlock.
  Once we finally got inside, Jessica looked at the body, while I looked around the room.
  Her life seemed quite normal, and organized.  There was no signs of forced entry, the buisnuess trip was scratched out, no buisnuess cards, and single, based off the pictures and the fact she had no wedding ring.
  "...Joanna, what do you think that means?"
    I turned to face the redhead standing next to a corpse like it was the best entertainment in the world.  "What do I think what means?" I asked.
  She was slightly annoyed, but still had a look of relief on her face.  "Thanks for not pretending you know what's going on, but please try and listen next time.  Heel print in the blood, allways a different brand.  They all seem to be single so far and they all had a buisnuess trip, but where they work is a mystery so far.  They also all seem to have no face, and female.  What do you think it means?"  She repeated.
  I thought for a moment.   No face, all women, all had a trip for work, but the job is anonymous.
  "Maybe the killer knows the women, and is stalking them?" I replied, slightly confused.
  "What else?" She asked.
    "Or they know the killer?"
  Her face said that wasn't exactly what she was looking for.
   "Well, they may work at the same place, so they may know the killer.  That could mean the killer is jealous of them.." I muttered.
  "Exactly.  But it was a partnership, correct?"
    "Yes, why?"  I asked.  Then suddenly it hit me.
  "Wouldn't that mean the killer has the same job and doesn't want us to know, and so does the partner." I blurted.
  "Bingo.  Just need to find the conpany and look around."  She smiled.  "However, let's look at the other crime scene.  I allready have the adress." She smiled, walking back out into the press-filled sidewalk.
  I followed, feeling the adrenaline pumping.  No wonder she enjoys this so much- there's a satisfying feeling of playing cat and mice.
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Comments (28)

SlugcatSeagullAghase
The story is really good. Usually, I don't like casual writing styles, but that type of writing style really helps with this story. My only problem is that I feel like the story jumps around too fast. When you write the next chapter, try to slow down and explain everything. Otherwise, this is a really good story, and I can't wait to read the rest!!
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Orange.Soda
Allright! I'll keep that in mind!
Thanks!
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SlugcatSeagullAghase
No prob ^-^
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
LhasapooLover
I like your story @Forever_Great_Bohemian_Rhaspody :)
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on May 08, 2017
Weiss_Schnee
I do like this story and see potential in it as a Qfeast classic.
My only concern with this story is the amount of space between sentences. I understand if this is your normal style, but...
I feel like nothing is organised into paragraphs that flow one after the other.
I like stories where the time flows on, and it's shown in the paragraph spacing. Books like See More▼
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Orange.Soda
Allright, thank you for the imput! It really helps.
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
sapphirethehedgehog
Okay, your writing style is awesome and it's very fun tot read, my only criticism would be that there's a lot of speaking and not a lot of saying what is actually going on and describing it. The only way the reader is able to keep up I see looking at all the speaking, maybe try to vary it a little more? Does this help? ^.^U
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Orange.Soda
Plenty! Thanks!
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sapphirethehedgehog
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Hey, can I be your official editor?
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Orange.Soda
Sure!
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vive_la_revolution
Mkay, great!
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Sounds good to me!
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Mkay! Actually, I think it'd be easiest to make a hidden page and PM you the link - I'll post constructive critiques and chapter edits on there, if that's alright with you.
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
However you do it best!
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Really? That's awesome! I'm really flattered. ^_^ Would you like me to send edits in PM or just leave constructive critiques or?
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
I was actually gonna ask if you'd do that--
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Yay!! Thanks ^_^
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Okay, so something that I actually didn't think about that you did fantabulously was that Sherlock is this crazy observant character that could tell her so many random details it's ridiculous. My only critique is that her panic attack probably wouldn't be calmed down immediately (also, hugging a person having a panic attack without their permission isn't a really See More▼
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vive_la_revolution
Also, it would be cool to change the last sentence to "We shook hands and walked to my therapy session." It changes all of the action to something that they're doing together; Jessica isn't dragging Joanna into her life, but Joanna is walking into her life. If that makes sense? It's not a big deal, just a tiny literary thing. XD Seriously though, I frikkin love See More▼
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Jessica described in detail another person - what they were wearing, where they were going, what they were thinking - seemingly unimportant details that would help ground Joanna in the present. And then Joanna was almost completely calm, so maybe Jessica just glanced at one more new passerby and described them to help Joanna (and also to establish to the readers See More▼
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vive_la_revolution
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
I love it!!
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Also, I'm writing more now!
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Of course!
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Allright! The details are fixed. Mind re-reading to make sure I got that right?
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Basically! Legit though, I really love this so far and I can't wait until you write more.
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Allright! Basically more detail and more accurate information?
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017