Divided

Divided

Hi people! This is a draft of the story I'm writing and I need some opinions! Basically the Introduction tells you half the actual description. A girl named Sarah grey has to face life or death when the country is divided and both sides are at stake. They are testing people for 'perfection' If you are to perfect you march to your death as a soldier. If you're not perfect enough you die. Bad description I know. Tell me what you think!

published on September 08, 20156 reads 5 readers 6 not completed

Introduction

I remember the good times. When I was so happy I could almost die, but of course time changes, tensions build, relationships dissolve. Nothing can stop it. You think there will be that moment when finally you’ll understand, and yet that moment never comes. Only if they would, I wish so much to understand. Why are we so Isolated? Why do we know nothing from before the 1800’s? Why are we sometimes treated so harshly. The one thing that never changes here is everything. Every day we all do the same thing. That never ending cycle. I don’t mean it in a literal sense, but usually someone will be outside at the same time everyday, do something at a certain time. You know what I mean. The one thing is that, worlds are supposed to change, even small ones. Without change, there’s no progress.

    Everyday I walk down the same dreary street, that shortcut I use to get to school. Like I said, that everyday cycle. I see some of those abandoned buildings on the way, the ones that still haven’t been repaired. All I remember is my parents saying everything changed when the war started. It always goes back to that war. The one no one dreamed would ever occur. Of course it happened in my grandparents lifetime, not mine, but sometimes I wish I could have been there to see it. To see everyone’s reactions, but of course I have yet to tell you about it.

    It was like the civil war, No one ever saw it coming. The North fought the south, again. Only of course there were different reasons this time and they took the same names as they did a while before and there was a definite difference, a more horrific result. It all started with another world war. Like every other book predicted only this time civilizations weren’t just taken over, they were killed off. In the end it got down to just us. Refugees rushed our borders but weren’t allowed in. Only some were allowed access to our refuge. Then it was down to just us, one of the few countries left. The only exception being small colonies outside our borders, where countries once stood. Then the fighting started. The North or “Yankees” believed that the refugees should be allowed in to help with trade and exchange with foreign territories. The South or “Confederates” believed that they shouldn’t be allowed in and that we should start using our own resources to support us, the only flaw being we don’t have everything.

Now there are two countries now. The Northern States of America, then the Southern States of America. There you have it, how our world basically became like this. For the past few decades we have had an era of peace or “truce” as you would call it, they say it’s finished but I know it’s not over. I have always had my suspicions unlike so many others, thinking that the peace will last forever, but I know that can never happen, not while there are other human beings on the earth. Still people who are greedy, arrogant or are power hungry will still seek their prize.

The main thing is that those past events has changed our realities and given us a new perspective. Our lives are so much different. Nobody lives “the american dream” anymore, at all. Since the split our communities are poorer and less advanced than they were in the 21st century, the only exception being the government. They get access to everything. I wasn’t surprised with that though. They get the money, the electronics, the easy living. So you can see why we dislike them so.

    Seeing some of the things we see everyday, doing things we have to endure, experiencing what we experience. You have no idea. Just wait until it arrives. because here we go…
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Comments (6)

RpgGamer
Great story
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bluebear0914
Thanks!
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RpgGamer
No problem
Keep up the good work
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on September 08, 2015
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on September 08, 2015
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on September 08, 2015
AlterEgo
I really like this idea, and I think you could do very much with it. It helps that you are a very good writer.
A suggestion I have is to have a reason why they are testing people for "perfection." I'm sure you will have a reason for it, but I think it would be better, perhaps, if it was a shocking reason, built up to using suspense. This reason might even be See More▼
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bluebear0914
Thanks! I had thought about it. I didn't want to spoil anything in the intro though. Thanks for the comment!
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AlterEgo
Haha, I thought so! No problem!
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on September 08, 2015
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on September 08, 2015
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on September 08, 2015