A Knight's Cry

A Knight's Cry

Liam, a knight finds himself avenging his family with someone he never knew before. Liam must fight through the pains and fear of the mission. [Thanks for Reading! Please give Feedback!]

published on September 25, 201516 reads 4 readers 4 not completed
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Chapter 7.

Come Back Home

        Liam started walking back home, with blood all over his armor. He went through the forest again, through the Elven part.
        "Oh great," said Liam.
        The Elf Chief stopped him.
        "Were you successful?" asked Walter.
        "Does it look like it?" said Liam.
        "Yes, and more successful than it should've. Be more careful on your next mission." said Walter, fading away.
        Liam started head out of the forest and went through the plains.
        "Great, you're a monster, Liam." said Liam himself.
        "So, what are you going to do now? Kill the kingdom you were raised in? You're psychotic." Said himself.
        "Am I actually turning insane? No, no, no. Well, I might." said Liam.
        "Insanity's beautiful, now that I think of it. It frees you of stress!" said Liam, cackling afterwards.
        "I wish I had it." said Liam.
        Then, he heard a 'whoosh' sound. Liam looked behind him.
        "Hey there, fella!" said Rose.
        "I thought you stayed behind!" said Liam.
        "I did. I moved all of the people from there to our kingdom," said Rose.
        "Fine," huffed Liam.
        "It's ok. They're gone now." said Rose.
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Comments (4)

vive_la_revolution
I LOVE that you actually have good grammar. That's surprisingly hard to find on here. However, I feel like there could be some improvements in your writing as far as emotion, thoughts, feelings, descriptions, and flow are concerned. You need to be as into your writing at the time you type as you want the reader to be when they read. Also, are you really going See More▼
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story.writer
Thanks for the help!
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vive_la_revolution
You're welcome! I can go more in-depth (up to several pages), but I feel like that would probably just be annoying. :3
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on November 17, 2015
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on November 17, 2015
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on November 17, 2015
ChloeTheTumblrHedgie
wow! Its awesome!
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on October 04, 2015