Randomly Evil and Funny Short Stories -made in 10 minutes or less-

Green Light: Someone steals your shoes on a rainy day - Red Light: Cow mutates and get human intelligence and hands

I was walking around town on a wet and soggy day, not a care in the world. Suddenly I fell over and landed on my face. “Ow…” I stood up, and felt a cold feeling start to envelope my toes. I looked down. My shoes had been stolen.
        “Are you alright?” A woman asked walking up to me.
        “Just peachy, someone stole my shoes on this day of all days! Now I will have to walk home in this rain to get another pair!” I said.
        “I could give you a ride to my farm, my cows are in the pasture with my husband so it should be fine if I gave you some of his shoes.” She said with a genuine smile lighting her face up.
        “Thanks!” I followed her to her car. She was a farmer as I soon found out, but also a geneticist and had been experimenting on her cows to see if she could enhance them.
        “We’re here!” She said in a cheery tone, she led me to her house and gave me a towel to dry off. “Wait here, I will be right back with Phil and some shoes.”
        I waited in the doorway drying off, she came back in a couple of minutes with a cow. She was standing in front of it so I couldn’t see much of the cow, but I suddenly felt strange.
        “Who is this?” I said glancing at the cow once and a while.
        “This is my husband Phil!” She moved out of the way to show that cow had a large brain, human sized, and hands.
        “Hello!” Phil said.
        I slowly backed up to the door and opened it running away, no way was I going to deal with a woman who made her cow her husband after giving the cow human intelligence and hands. NO WAY!