Phases of the Moon

The little boy Magik's last memory was his mom tucking him in to bed. Now he is awake and in a strange place he has never seem before. Is he asleep? And what is with the moon?

published on April 12, 201424 reads 9 readers 5 not completed
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Phases of the Moon
Chapter 4.
Yuokijuh

Yuokijuh

78k: well, here we are! my home planet, Yuokijuh!!! other aliens: WELCOME HOME 78K!!!!!! Magik: nice planet! one of 78k's friends: who is that human with you? 78k: he is my partner in escaping, Magik! other aliens: MAGIK! 78K! MAGIK! 78K! MAGIK! 78k: you can live in my mansion with me. I have an empty room. Magik: thanks! 78k: no problem. *walks with Magik to mansion* here's my mansion. you like it? Magik: ooh! very nice house! Where's my room? 78k: *leads Magik to empty bedroom* here! Magik: *flops on bed* PLOP!!! 78k: *laughs*
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Comments (5)

beeesafe
Good story but a little 2 fast into things.
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on April 13, 2014
Mcdazzle2000
(BTW i am following u)
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on April 12, 2014
Mcdazzle2000
good story, but needs editing. (look at punctuation, dialogue, and try to explain the escape more) don't worry, it has a good plot-line, so you wont need to work on that too much. if u need my help, i will help you. i edit my stories all the time, and i'm rewriting one of them, so don't feel bad. :p u got this!
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on April 12, 2014
SC_Q.13
okay. thanks for the feedback! now I will try to make it better in the future ;)
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on April 12, 2014
ellotherelove
It's cool but a little too fast-paced. I didn't understand.
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on April 12, 2014