1. Harry Potter!1. Follow him around and announce in a loud voice, "VOLDEMORT IS YOUR UNCLE!".
2. Tell him he should stop pretending to be Harry Potter, and to wipe that fake scar of his head.
3. Tell Ron he was nearly Sorted into Slytherin.
4. Tell him Snape is his real father.
5. Tell him that when the Dark Lord kills him, you want his Firebolt.
6. Stare at his scar.
7. Sing "Oh Potter, you rotter..." when he's studying.
8. Tease him that if Slughorn hadn't been there, he wouldn't have made Potions NEWT class and therefore could not be an Auror.
9. Ask Dobby to "Save his life".
10. Ask him, "How's your dates with Cho going?".
11. When he's nearby, put your hand on your forehead and say, "OW!!!!!!! My scar! Gotta go to tell Dumbledore! Bye! OW!!!".
12. Worship him.
13. Feed him a love potion to make him fall in love with Snape.
14. Polyjuice into Lily and say, "Harry, I regret to tell you, James isn't your father. Severus Snape is. Give him a hug for me!".
15. Give Rita Skeeter and interview about how mad he acts at school and get her to publish the article.
Let me know who you want me to do next!