identikit

why is kendall still dming me on instagram

rediscovered bon iver, the lumineers, legend of zelda, and good mythical morning 2014 brea is going fuckking insane

recent adventures
-the sun came out for 2 days and it kinda fixed all my problems but now its cloudy so im sad again and also im so sore bc i worked out heavily yesterday
-been watching sunrises every morning which has been sooo awesome except i live in chicago so its horrible and cold out
-idk if ive posted ab them before but i befriended a murder of crows that lives in the freight yard they wait for me at the bridge every morning and i feed them peanuts and they've been letting See More me get prettyyy close lately
-on break which has been nice some time alone has been good for me but i also miss my friends
-making an effort to eat better (more fiber and protein + very little sugar except in the mornings bc i usually eat fruit yogurt and granola for breakfast) i feel sm better when i eat better:)
-been fond of making my own clothes
-mostly off my phone lately which is only a lil difficult when im not working bc its so cold i cant rly go out n do much
-been working a lot and its been chill since my boss is out of town. he usually schedules me for 9+ hour closing shifts alone w him (which makes me very uncomfortable ive mentioned this and also i dont get home til bedtime) but since hes gone hes only giving me 5 hour morning shifts which is perfect for me bc i get afternoons off

thrifted a pair of jadon max hardwaresfor 7 bucks earlier the thrift gods have smiled upon me

recent updates
-cleaned my room today (much needed)
-ive been taking a break from shows for a bit bc the last show i played smth made me rly upset and i ended up getting rly fuckked up in a park at 2 am which was not pleasant for me or anyone else around me probably
-my folks visited which was cool!!
-most of my friends went home for break which is cool (i rly needed a break from some ppl) but i also miss them
-seasonal depression has been hitting me p hard, i feel overwhelmed See More even tho nothing’s happening and everything pisses me off
-currently not very happy w my boss he made me mad the other day and i havent gotten over it
-got a sure shot z180u for xmas + some film!!!! (the ps35 i bought ended up being broken and i have to return it)
-found a gift card i thought was empty but it had like 80 bux on it (!!) so i spent most of it on the designer soldered cyber goth necklace from turkey ive been wanting but didnt wanna spend real money on

from a basement on a hill is genuinely some of elliott smiths best songwriting such an underrated album

listening to bladee in my cargo pants and converse w my bandana tied around my head i feel like the biggest douchebag in the world rn its awesome

i don’t like closing too much bc it gets dark at 4 here but i very much enjoy getting to clean the espresso machine. i enjoy the smell of cafeiza bc i am weird and also i get to take it apart and put it back together and its fun

my spotify top artists are atrocious rn im
embarrassed (the list consists of elliott smith, radiohead, various obscure shoegaze bands, mbv, and bladee)

yuh
-scored + acted in my first short film and i think i want to do that again sometime
-semester is over fuckking finally
-bff is gonna teach me how to skateboard
-bff also let me borrow her point and shoot n im ab to go buy film for that
-fuckked up my sleep schedule again so that kinda sucks but its also december in chicago we get like 3 seconds of daylight per day

ur name song wtf

https://open.spotify.com/track/48WjoS8xixdToSxYDujDmb?si=IaYdFmfNQluhzkYvh3Q4pw

good evening q nation currently can’t sleep bc i am on my period and painfully bloated i love it when my uterine lining grows wherever it wants #endometriosisgang

ive made jokes ab me being bertie tuca and bertie before and im mostly cool w that but like???? idk my irl boss is pastry pete coded i dont like that
one bit

i have peaked (made a cyanotype of my dick)

i miss peeker boy

you say Zodiac, we say Homestuck
you worship your gods, we worship LORD HUSSIE!
you say we die for good, we say we go godtier
you say Homestuck is boring, we say its the best thing to read besides manga
you say card symbols, we say quadrants
you say best friend, we say morial
you say lover, we say matesprit See More
you say were weird , we say your normal
you facepaint at parties, we paint for cosplay
you say bucket, we get discusted
you say its windy, we say its John doing the windy thing
you say parents, we say lusus
you say movies, we say romcons and nic cage
You say cool, we say strider
you say crab, we say crabdad
you say rainbow , we say hemospectrum
you say aliens, we say trolls
you say cat, we say pawbeast
you drink soda, we drink faygo
you say the universe was made by a big bang, we say Karkat made the universe
you say red and blue, we say psionics
you say fashion, we say kanaya
you have ships, we have shipping walls
you say Jesus, we say Jegus
you say books are long, we say Homestuck is HUGE
you say God, we say Gog
you say 69, we say cancer symbol
you say freaked out, we say triggered
you say adorable, we say adorabloodthirsty
you say we're freaks, we say we're HOMESTUCK

uhhhhhhh life updates idk what's going on most of the time ive been kinda withdrawn lately which im trying not to but everything's been so overwhelming and im oh so very tired. writing a lotta songs, been reading demons by dostoyevsky, rly into czech new wave/surrealist cinema (daisies my beloved film!!!) i also started making cyanotypes and for the past week ive been listening to mostly shoegaze

so i think giving a man a chance was the first mistake lolol