Chapter 4
Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?A. Because they're a fungi!
Q. What did one cliff say to the other cliff?
A. "Don't try to bluff me."
Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.
Q. What did the fish say to the octopus while the octopus was eating?
A. Lend me a tentacle or 8.
Q. In a green house lives a green man and in the pink house lives a pink man. Who lives in the white house?
A. The president.
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.
Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. What book can you look in to find words that are not true?
A. The fiction-ary!
Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!
Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.
Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.
Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.
Q. What has no lid, key, or hinge yet golden treasure is hid inside?
A. An egg!
Q. Why was the Egyptian confused?
A. Because someone told him his daddy was a mummy!
Q. What kind of music does a mountain like?
A. Rock music!
Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!
Q. What do people have in common with a math book?
A. We've all got a lot of problems!
Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.
Q. What did the sick freight elevator say?
A. "I think I'm coming down with something."
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.
Q. What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
A. "You glow, girl!"
Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!
Q. Where do oak trees come from?
A. OAKlahoma.
Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.
Q. What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A. A jelly baby!
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. Why did the lamb go to the river?
A. To get a BAA-th!
Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!
Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!
Q. What has a forest with no trees, lakes without water, roads with no cars and deserts with no sand?
A. A map!
Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).
Q. I am found on land and in the sea but I don't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toeless. No matter where I go I'm never far from home. Who am I?
A. A snail.
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. What's the difference between winter and a hurt football player?
A. One is cold out and the other one is out cold.
Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!
Q. What letter is a European bird?
A. J.
Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!
Q. How do you throw a tent?
A. You pitch it!
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.
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