Catching Roses

Jessica Holister is probably one of the smartest in the world- nicknamed by the media "Sherlock Holmes", with her identity remaining a secret. And her past, what she thought became gone, was back.

published on April 21, 201790 reads 22 readers 28 not completed
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Chapter 2.

Chapter 2- Joanna William's POV

  And then she dragged me to a therapy session. Well, tried too.
She argued with her therapist about weather she should stay with me and in the middle her phone rang.
    Then left me alone with the creepiest-looking man ever.
  He had the look of holding one to many person's burdens, and his face was showing annoyance of her, and had wrinkles on his face- an unhealthy 40ish old male, with his hair whitening.
  "So, Jessica told me you had a PTSD attack?"
  I was still not in a good mood, so I replied with "No, I had the joyful flashbacks of playing in the gardens as a child and was having tears of joy running down my face.  Obviously I had a PTSD flashback."
  The white male seemed even more annoyed but calmed down, surpressing his rage.
    "Ok, what'd you think caused it?" He asked.
  Thoughts flooded my mind.  Was it the man nearby looked just like Alex's corpse? The cop's pistol? The shop in front of me having the same shade of the sand?
    "No idea." I replied.
  "Well, you must have some idea."  I hesitated, but then Jessica came in.
  "I hope she doesn't mind if she sees a dead body.  I need her help with this."  Both the therapist and me gave her a shocked look.  She knows I have PTSD- why cause another attack?
  "Absurd!  Sh- Jessica, you cant throw in a solder into a crime scene and expect them to cope!"
  The redhead gave the man a confused look. "One, thank you for correcting yourself. Two, you make me re-live my past every day.  How is this any different?"
   He was about to argue back, but I interupted.
  "I'll go.  Any carreers I'll get will have a chance of making me re-live my own anyway, so might as well get into it now before the medications.  Becides, fresh air." And the fact he was doing it wrong, but I woudln't want to admit that now.
  "Great.  Let's go."
  "Sherlock, Miss, you're both being absurd!" He replied to both of us.  
  We both got up and I headed out the door.  "Don't call me Sherlock!" She replied, leaving behind me.
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Comments (28)

SlugcatSeagullAghase
The story is really good. Usually, I don't like casual writing styles, but that type of writing style really helps with this story. My only problem is that I feel like the story jumps around too fast. When you write the next chapter, try to slow down and explain everything. Otherwise, this is a really good story, and I can't wait to read the rest!!
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Orange.Soda
Allright! I'll keep that in mind!
Thanks!
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SlugcatSeagullAghase
No prob ^-^
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
LhasapooLover
I like your story @Forever_Great_Bohemian_Rhaspody :)
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on May 08, 2017
Weiss_Schnee
I do like this story and see potential in it as a Qfeast classic.
My only concern with this story is the amount of space between sentences. I understand if this is your normal style, but...
I feel like nothing is organised into paragraphs that flow one after the other.
I like stories where the time flows on, and it's shown in the paragraph spacing. Books like See More▼
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Orange.Soda
Allright, thank you for the imput! It really helps.
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
sapphirethehedgehog
Okay, your writing style is awesome and it's very fun tot read, my only criticism would be that there's a lot of speaking and not a lot of saying what is actually going on and describing it. The only way the reader is able to keep up I see looking at all the speaking, maybe try to vary it a little more? Does this help? ^.^U
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Orange.Soda
Plenty! Thanks!
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sapphirethehedgehog
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Hey, can I be your official editor?
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Orange.Soda
Sure!
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vive_la_revolution
Mkay, great!
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Sounds good to me!
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Mkay! Actually, I think it'd be easiest to make a hidden page and PM you the link - I'll post constructive critiques and chapter edits on there, if that's alright with you.
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
However you do it best!
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Really? That's awesome! I'm really flattered. ^_^ Would you like me to send edits in PM or just leave constructive critiques or?
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
I was actually gonna ask if you'd do that--
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Yay!! Thanks ^_^
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Okay, so something that I actually didn't think about that you did fantabulously was that Sherlock is this crazy observant character that could tell her so many random details it's ridiculous. My only critique is that her panic attack probably wouldn't be calmed down immediately (also, hugging a person having a panic attack without their permission isn't a really See More▼
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vive_la_revolution
Also, it would be cool to change the last sentence to "We shook hands and walked to my therapy session." It changes all of the action to something that they're doing together; Jessica isn't dragging Joanna into her life, but Joanna is walking into her life. If that makes sense? It's not a big deal, just a tiny literary thing. XD Seriously though, I frikkin love See More▼
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Jessica described in detail another person - what they were wearing, where they were going, what they were thinking - seemingly unimportant details that would help ground Joanna in the present. And then Joanna was almost completely calm, so maybe Jessica just glanced at one more new passerby and described them to help Joanna (and also to establish to the readers See More▼
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vive_la_revolution
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
I love it!!
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Also, I'm writing more now!
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Of course!
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Allright! The details are fixed. Mind re-reading to make sure I got that right?
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on April 21, 2017
vive_la_revolution
Basically! Legit though, I really love this so far and I can't wait until you write more.
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on April 21, 2017
Orange.Soda
Allright! Basically more detail and more accurate information?
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017