The Rose Trees

This is a variant of Snow White and Rose Red. It's for my english class but it's not done yet. If you could give me feedback that would be awesome because I'm still writing it.

published on September 20, 20152 reads 2 readers 0 not completed

What I have so far.

Once upon a time there lived an old widow whom everyone called Mother Medifabucri. She lived in a creaky old cottage surrounded by flowers and two enchanting rose trees. One bearing astonishingly snow white roses and one bearing blood red roses. Mother Medifabucri had two children whom she named after the rose trees. They were both compassionate and loving and were never separated. The first one however, whom she named Nix Altane was more gentle and quiet while Dafir Rosu was ambitious and stubborn. Nix had beautifully white hair and one eye blue and the other green. Rosu had shimmering crimson hair and the same eyes as Nix. The two children were so fond of each other there was hardly a moment they weren’t near each other. Whenever they felt lonely, they would say to one another, ‘We will not leave each other’ Rosu would say, ‘ Never so long as we live’ Nix answered and their mother would add ‘What one has she must share with the other’. Thus was the stronghold of their friendship.

This isolated cottage was near a forest known for its enchantingly long and gnarled trees with leaves the shade of gold and auburn. This forest was called Aureum Marleten, calling towards the legend that on a certain day the leaves would turn into gold. The two girls would often venture into the forest, laughing and skipping. The forest was their own kingdom, and the animals respected and loved them. Many a time came when they would sleep on the soft mossy beds near the bubbling creek. One day, as the girls were collecting flowers in the forest, they fell asleep on a moss bed. As they woke up, they found themselves on the edge of a cliff! They shuddered at the thought of the long drop into the cavern.

As the seasons changed from bright spring to frosty winter, Rosu and Nix stayed indoors , helping with housework. Every evening, they would sit by their fireplace and tell stories. One particularly glacial night, knocks sounded at the door. Their mother beckoned and told them to open the door to whom she thought was a weary stranger. Once the girls opened the door, a huge black snout poked inside. The girls screamed! “Please! Don’t be afraid! I’m frozen to death and only wish to lie down by your fire.” he entreated. “Oh, pitiful bear. Warm yourself by the fire, but do care not to burn your fur.” said the ever-hospitable Mother Medifabucri. She then exclaimed to the girls: “Rosu, Nix! Do not be alarmed, he won’t harm you!”. “Come, children. Shake the wet snow out of my icy coat.” pleaded the bear. So the girls brought out a broom and swept his soft, brown hide. He stretched his body near the fire and purred contentedly. They grew quite at home with each other, playing together and sleeping on his warm, fluffy fur.

From then on the bear came every evening and the children let him out in the morning.Winter changed to spring and the bear didn’t come back. One day, the bear appeared in the day time, carrying two shiny objects. He dropped the objects at the girls feet and trotted away without a word his coat however caught against something and they thought they could see gold. Nix picked hers up and beheld a beautiful crescent moon pendant with a thin silver chain. Rosu gazed upon a flaming sun pendant with bright, glittering jewels embedded along a slim chain. The two girls immediately put them on and sighed, as if content.

The next day, they walked into the forest intending to pick some of the alluringly azure purple flowers.
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