Out of the microwave and into the garbage bin.My name is Mort Vivant.
That is all I can reveal without getting shot. Even if I was to tell you my eye colour I would put my life at risk and yours.
2 months earlier..
'Escape. Run. Never stop.' I used these four words as my motives to escape the prison. each night seemed longer, each frost seemed colder and the food seemed less nourishing. I was going insane. I felt like I was being killed and killed over and over again without dying. Every time I drew a breathe I felt like I snapped my lungs.
The night of an eclipse finally arrived. 8 minutes of utter darkness, that's all the time I had to remove the rock, wade through the tunnel, run to the barbwires, scale them and keep on running far, far from this place. 8 minutes to do what takes years of practice. 8 minutes to do the impossible. Succeed and I'll be free forever, fail and face the guillotine...
13 minutes to go... The guard is asleep, 'obviously he isn't an astronomy fan, otherwise he'll be outside waiting for the solar eclipse.' 10 minutes... 'Dear time, please speed up the next ten minutes and slow down the eight minutes after that. Amen, I guess.' 7 minutes... 6 minutes and 30 seconds... 'If the guard's asleep... I can get a head start and remove the rock from the tunnel. Hopefully he's a deep sleeper. I need as much time as possible.' 3 minutes... 1 minute... 30 seconds... 'Oh! It's almost started- dang! Go time!'
Blood rushed to my face, my hands felt clammy, sweat drenched my shirt... 'WHY DID I PICK SUCH A HEAVY ROCK!' I finally pushed it away to reveal a tunnel. Down on all fours, I crawled for a figurative eternity. 'Snap! It's not wide enough at this end!' Clenching the dirt, scraping my arms I pushed away the final fragments of soil. Panting and only running on adrenaline I sprinted well over a kilometre. Gasping for air I gripped the wire. Darkness may have hidden my silhouette but no amount of shadow can hide an adolescent with no prior experience scampering up a fence.
"OVER 'ERE! A PRSIONER IS TRYING TO ESCAPE!" Prison guards ran towards me. I held my breathe for a full minute waiting for the to pass. Once they passed I continued over the fence as quietly as I could. Sweat covered nearly every inch of my body, I was almost fatigued and my grip was slipping. I knew there and then I was going to fall 12 metres into solid earth. 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is the first chapter! I am the protagonist! I cannot die! I am supposed to be alive in 2 months time. Just get to the top!' My thoughts of desperation kept me going. I knew I would suffer I worse fate on this side than the other. "YES I MADE IT TO THE TOP!" I bellowed at the top of my lungs, just a heads up, fatigue is not very good if you need to keep your wits about you.
I know not how long I was unconscious but during that time;
1. The eclipse ended and the guards found my body crumpled on the other side. They thought I was dead so they left me there.
2. My body was stolen by a bunch of ants.
3. Some crazy voodoo lady killed all the ants and took me into her cabin.
4. The crazy voodoo lady did some voodoo magic stuff and revived me (DON'T ASK ME HOW!?)
5. Then the lady killed me! WHY REVIVE ME TO KILL ME AGAIN!
6. Don't worry, she then brought me back to life.
7. She licked all my wounds clean. Gross, yes, but they were gone at least.
8. THEN SHE KILLED ME AGAIN! WHAT WAS THIS LADY'S PROBLEM!
9. Yep, you guessed it, I was back.
10. Then she put me out side her house and said in a very creepy voodoo lady voice, 'This bum is out of the microwave and into the garbage bin.'
When I awakened...
"Who are you!?" I screamed.
"I am your mother."
"You are? Oh, sorry, here is a hug." So I hugged a random woman who certainly wasn't my mother (you lose a few brain cells being just reborn from the dead).
"Now, what does my baby want to eat for dinner?" The woman said, genuinely smiling but very creepily for her eyes were crimson red and her face was extremely wrinkly.
Laughing she responded, "Dearest, you can't have dirt for dinner. You need some food."
"Oh," I responded, actually baffled, "I'll have wiggle iggle." I began speaking gibberish and playing with the turquoise skirt 'mother' was wearing.
"I'll make you a nice cauldron of ravioli."
"I want a huggy." I started hugging her leg.
"Oh bother! Why are all recently reborn people so dim witted! I must get a brew that fixes that. I'll reread my high school math work book. I wrote plenty of spells in there."
I fell to sleep soon after that. I ate my ravioli and face planted into the bowl.
"Now he's asleep, I can finish of the experimentation on him and finally complete the ecliptic process." She snarled wicked and drew out a blade from a sheath.