Not good enough.I stare out the window, my stomach twisting into knots as my school comes into view. I see kids getting out of their cars and greeting their groups of friends.
I look at my phone, hoping my one friend, Callie, has texted me back. But she hasn't.
Callie and I used to be inseparable. In the beginning of middle school, we were always together. Then, eighth grade rolled around, and she started hanging out with popular girls, and I was always left out.
Now, in sophomore year, we're as far apart as we've ever been. Ditching me on the weekends, ignoring my texts, pretending she doesn't know me around her other friends.
Let's just say it hasn't had the greatest impact on my self worth.
My mom pulls up to the front of the school, and I turn to her. She smiles, and I get out of the car.
I walk towards the school, the cold air chilling me to the bone.
The day is uneventful. I sit through my classes, trying my best not to be noticed. Callie gives me a small smile in history, and that's the most interaction we've had all week.
My day takes a turn for the worse in gym.
Turns out, I'm only 5'3. And 113 pounds.
For some reason, that number makes my stomach drop to my feet. A thousand thoughts fly around my mind at once, and I feel dizzy. My mouth suddenly becomes dry, and my head spins. I lean against the wall once I'm out of the locker room, where they were weighing us.
"What's wrong?" one of the popular girls asks. "Too fat?"
My throat burns, and that word buzzes around, making itself known.
I speed-walk to the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror, and lift my shirt up.
I've never been overweight, but the sight of myself makes me sick.
A little bit of stomach comes over my shirt. And all I think is fat. Fat, fat, fat fat fat fat fat fat.
And skinny. Skinny. SKINNY.
A little voice rings in my head.
'You can be skinny.'
I listen for more.
'I can show you how.'
Intrigued, I listen to my thoughts as if it were another person, as if this is totally normal.
'My name is Ana, and I can make you skinny.'