Priceless (A MIKA Fanfic) (Remake)

Chapter 30

As I made my way to the canteen, I thought about suicide once again. After what had happened in Art, the idea of killing myself had become even more appealing to me. I just wanted everything to be over by now, and I felt awful.

I found my usual seat and sat down, then I took out my lunchbag. Unzipping it, I took out my box of tuna and sweetcorn sandwiches and began to eat. I looked around the room to see if Mica was anywhere to be found, and I saw him standing in the lunch line as usual. I hoped that he would see me and smile at me, or even just look in my direction, but he didn't.

I just wanted school to be over. Actually, I wanted everything to be over. I wished the day would finish, and then I could just go home and end my life. But it seemed to be taking ages for the end of the day to come.

I was just tired of being myself. Tired of being the girl that didn't speak. Tired of not being able to do normal things. Tired of worrying about everything. Tired of being bullied every day at school. I felt as if I would rather die than continue life as who I was.

Sighing, I finished my sandwiches and began eating my fruit pieces. I began to wonder about how I was actually going to kill myself. I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I guessed that I would find a way. All I knew was that I had to do it, to put myself out of my misery.

When I had finished the rest of my lunch, I sat there for a few minutes, wishing that I didn't have to sit alone at break and lunch every day.

"If I killed myself, I wouldn't have to go through this," I thought.

I thought about how Mica would react if I died. I knew that it would hurt him. But it needed to be done, and he would soon realise over time that he would be better off without me. I was just a burden for him, and he would be happier if I wasn't there to constantly bother him with my problems.

Then the bell went, and after putting my school bag on my back, I walked to my next lesson, which was English.