Priceless (A MIKA Fanfic) (Remake)

Chapter 24

As I walked to my Maths classroom, I thought about something that I had thought about before, but never seriously considered.

Suicide.

I thought of killing myself a lot of the time, and I wanted to die most days. But I had never had any real suicidal thoughts or intentions before. I thought of it as more of an escape route, or an 'out of jail' card for my own life. If something bad happened, I could always just end everything.

But this time I was really thinking about it.

I thought about what would happen if I killed myself. Probably nothing. Nobody would really care. In fact, the kids at my school would probably be happy if I died, because they're horrible people like that. They would say that I deserved it, if they even noticed that I was gone. It wasn't like I even contributed to anything or did anything of any worth, because I couldn't talk at school to do things like that.

There probably wouldn't even be an assembly to talk about me or anything like that, because my school was just a horrible place. Nobody ever cared about the things anyone went through, or anything that happened, so why would they care about me? Maybe Mica would care, but he was just one person. I thought back to what he had said to me on the day when he pretended to break up with me, and I wondered if he really did mean what he said, but was lying to me when we got back together because he felt sorry for me.

I sighed, feeling even worse about myself. That seemed to be all I ever did. Make myself feel bad. I just wanted everything to end, and I didn't want to face my own life again. And taking my own life seemed to be the best way to do that.

I then made my decision. I would kill myself that night.

I got to my Maths classroom, and I saw everyone else already sat down, so I guessed that I was allowed to go straight in. I went inside, and took my seat next to Mica. There had been a change of seats a few days ago, and I now sat with him. Even though I couldn't talk to him in case anyone saw us, I was glad I was sitting next to him.

The teacher told a girl sitting at the back of the room to give the books out, and when they had been given out, the lesson started. I took my things out of my bag, and I placed them on the table.

"Okay, class. Today we will be learning about translating shapes." the teacher told the class.

She picked up the remote for the whiteboard from her desk, and switched it on to reveal a presentation about the topic. To explain it to the class, she went through it, talking about each slide that appeared. Then she gave out some worksheets, and told everyone to start answering the questions on them.

I looked down at the worksheet. I was really bad at translating shapes, and I could never understand what to do. It just didn't make sense to me. But after this lesson, I would never have to do it again.

I thought about what I was going to do tonight again. Translating shapes wasn't the only thing I would never have to do again. I would also never have to go to school again, or have to go through being made fun of by the other kids. I would never panic about anything again, or spend my days hating myself.

As I thought about this, I felt something being pushed into my hand. I looked down, and saw that Mica was passing me another note. I smiled and took it, then I opened it under the table so that nobody could see it.

"Do you want to come to my house after school?" it read.

I took a pen out of my pencil case, and I replied on the other side of the note.

"Okay. But how will we walk there together?" I wrote back to him.

I passed the note back to him, and he read it. I saw him write something under my answer, then he handed it back to me.

"We'll wait until everyone leaves the classroom, then we can walk slowly out of school. When we get to the top of the road, we can walk together," his reply read.

I nodded to him, then I tried to start my worksheet. It was difficult, but by the end of the lesson, I had completed quite a few of the questions. That was good, because I thought I would only be able to do one or two of them. I didn't know if they were correct, though. But I had tried.

Then it was the end of the lesson, and it was finally time to go home. I put my pencil case back in my school bag, and I tucked my sheet into my book. Then I put it in the book box, and sat back down in my seat to wait for the bell to go.