My Alternative Ending to Allegiant

My Alternative Ending to Allegiant

As we all know, Veronica Roth gave us a rather tragic ending for Allegiant, which left millions of initiates heart-broken. But I took it into my own hands to start writing an alternate ending to it. So yeah, here it is.

published on June 01, 201475 reads 35 readers 25 completed
Chapter 1.

Chapter Forty-Nine

(Yeah, yeah, so this chapter's gonna be more or less the same with a few changes here and there, maybe some added parts from me, but the REAL changing begins in my version of chapter 50!)

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TRIS

THE DEATH SERUM smells like smoke and spice, and my lungs reject it with the first breath I take. I cough and splutter, and I am swallowed by darkness.
I crumple to my knees. My body feels like someone has replaces my blood with molasses, and my bones with lead. An invisible thread tugs me toward sleep, but I want to be awake. I have to stay awake. I imagine that wanting with Tobias, that desire, burning in my chest like a flame.
The thread seems to tug harder on me, and I stoke the flame with names. Tobias. Caleb. Christina. Matthew. Cara. Zeke. Uriah.
But I can't bear up under the serum's weight. But I know I have to. I have to. But my body falls to the side, my wounded arm pressing to the cold ground. And I feel myself drifting...
'It would be nice to float away,' a voice in my head says. 'To see where I will go...'
But the fire, the fire.
The desire to live.
No. No drifting. I am not done yet. I am not.
Not by a long shot.
I feel like I am digging through my own mind. It is difficult to remember why I came here,and why I care about unburdening myself from this beautiful weight. But then my scratching hands find it, the memory of my mother's face, and the strange angles of her limbs on the pavement, and the blood seeping from my father's body.
'But they are dead,' the voice says. 'You could join them.'
'No,' I answer. 'They died for me.' And now I have something to do, in return to their sacrifice. I have to stop other people from losing everything. I have to save the city and the people my mother and father loved.
If I go join my parents, I want to carry with me a good reason, not this - this senseless collapsing at the threshold.
The fire, the fire. It still rages strongly within, first a campfire, then an inferno, and my body is its fuel. I feel it racing through me, eating away at the weight. There is nothing that can kill me now; I am powerful and invincible and eternal.
I feel the serum clinging to my skin like oil, but the darkness recedes. I slap a heavy hand over the floor and push myself up.
I have to keep fighting the serum. I have to live.
Bent at the waist, I shove my shoulder into the double doors, and they squeak across the floor as their seal breaks. I breathe clean air and stand up straighter. I am there, I am there. I was able to fight it!
But I am not alone. Because I see someone approaching.
"Don't move," David says, raising his gun. "Hello, Tris."
Ah, crap!
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Comments (25)

TsumikiMiniwa
Sooo much better. It didn't leave me as a sobbing heap under my blankets like the real book. I was heartbroken. Almost literally. TRIS WAS SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER!!!!!
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on October 25, 2015
Ravenclaw3243
Bya! Great story!
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Lady_Artemis
Thank you!
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Ravenclaw3243
NP! Lol, it's like David totally thinks he burned Tris, and Tobias comes running in! It's like the formula all the superhero movies use, you know? Like evil robot is about to swallow lady whole, but Bobby the Super Duper Ketchup man ( I just made that up. ) flies in and kills the robot and saves lady! (I'm too lazy to give her a name.)
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on July 13, 2014
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on July 13, 2014
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on July 13, 2014
BlazingFlame48
I luv it!!
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Lady_Artemis
Thank you!
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on July 09, 2014
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on July 09, 2014
JeweledOwl812
YESSSS! David BYE BYE! We won't miss you!!!
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Lady_Artemis
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on July 01, 2014
JeweledOwl812
<4
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Lady_Artemis
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on July 13, 2014
JeweledOwl812
@Ravenclaw3243 intended
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on July 13, 2014
Ravenclaw3243
Less then four? Oh. I see your pun. LOL. Intended or no!
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on July 13, 2014
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on July 01, 2014
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on July 01, 2014
Frostgoddess
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lady_Artemis
In Veronica Roth's ending, Tobias doesn't come back that quick, David shoots Tris, Tris sees her mother, and then goes with her to Heaven. So basically, in the real ending, Tris dies.
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Ravenclaw3243
Spoiler!
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on July 13, 2014
Frostgoddess
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on June 24, 2014
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on June 24, 2014
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on June 24, 2014
XxlunargirlxX
Good
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on June 01, 2014
Lady_Artemis
Thank you!!!!!
This is my first time writing an alternative ending to a story, so thanks so much for this praise people!!!
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on June 01, 2014
MockingjayDistrict
Yes! I <4 it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE REAL ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should have written the ending, not Veronica Roth!
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Ravenclaw3243
I like both.
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Lady_Artemis
YOU'RE AWESOME, MD!!!
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on July 13, 2014
MockingjayDistrict
I don't like things that make me cry, (unless they're tears of joy, or some other circumstance) so I prefer Jackie's ending, despite Veronica's writing skills.
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on July 13, 2014
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on July 13, 2014
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on June 01, 2014
swageyamatobiyolo
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on June 01, 2014
Lady_Artemis
I'm glad you like it! At least now that I've written that I won't wake up in the middle of the night screaming "NO! TRIS!"
XD I don't really scream that XD
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on June 01, 2014
swageyamatobiyolo
SO SO SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!
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on June 01, 2014