Chapter Forty-Nine(Yeah, yeah, so this chapter's gonna be more or less the same with a few changes here and there, maybe some added parts from me, but the REAL changing begins in my version of chapter 50!)
THE DEATH SERUM smells like smoke and spice, and my lungs reject it with the first breath I take. I cough and splutter, and I am swallowed by darkness.
I crumple to my knees. My body feels like someone has replaces my blood with molasses, and my bones with lead. An invisible thread tugs me toward sleep, but I want to be awake. I have to stay awake. I imagine that wanting with Tobias, that desire, burning in my chest like a flame.
The thread seems to tug harder on me, and I stoke the flame with names. Tobias. Caleb. Christina. Matthew. Cara. Zeke. Uriah.
But I can't bear up under the serum's weight. But I know I have to. I have to. But my body falls to the side, my wounded arm pressing to the cold ground. And I feel myself drifting...
'It would be nice to float away,' a voice in my head says. 'To see where I will go...'
But the fire, the fire.
The desire to live.
No. No drifting. I am not done yet. I am not.
Not by a long shot.
I feel like I am digging through my own mind. It is difficult to remember why I came here,and why I care about unburdening myself from this beautiful weight. But then my scratching hands find it, the memory of my mother's face, and the strange angles of her limbs on the pavement, and the blood seeping from my father's body.
'No,' I answer. 'They died for me.' And now I have something to do, in return to their sacrifice. I have to stop other people from losing everything. I have to save the city and the people my mother and father loved.
If I go join my parents, I want to carry with me a good reason, not this - this senseless collapsing at the threshold.
The fire, the fire. It still rages strongly within, first a campfire, then an inferno, and my body is its fuel. I feel it racing through me, eating away at the weight. There is nothing that can kill me now; I am powerful and invincible and eternal.
I feel the serum clinging to my skin like oil, but the darkness recedes. I slap a heavy hand over the floor and push myself up.
I have to keep fighting the serum. I have to live.
Bent at the waist, I shove my shoulder into the double doors, and they squeak across the floor as their seal breaks. I breathe clean air and stand up straighter. I am there, I am there. I was able to fight it!
But I am not alone. Because I see someone approaching.
"Don't move," David says, raising his gun. "Hello, Tris."