I sat quietly in the office as I waited for my psychologist, Denise Miller, to come back. She walked out a few moments ago to get a cup of coffee and her notepad. I was sitting on a couch that she had in her office. I had my legs crossed and my hands entwined in my lap. I was fiddling with my thumbs as I tried to think of a way to explain about what's been on my mind for the last week. This was my tenth time coming into her office to talk. I talked about everything to her. She was like my best friend; someone I could really trust. I told her my feelings, my thoughts and talked about positive parts about my life. Whenever I talked, she would either look at me or scribble down notes on her notepad. I was curious about what she wrote down, but I knew it wasn't for my eyes to see.
It's been a week since my last session with Denise. The last time we talked was about my diet. She seemed to notice my weight loss and my lack of eating. She was concerned. She even examined my wrists just to see if I was attempting suicide. When she saw no marks on my arms and wrists, she let me go. When I left from that session, she told me to try to eat a little more than I should. Ha, if only she knew what I was craving for exactly.
Suddenly, the door swung open and Denise stepped in with his notepad and styrofoam cup of coffee. She had her long blonde hair pinned up in a high bun, her make up was done light as usual and her black, silk, knee-length dress was wrinkle free as always. Denise smiled over at me and began to walk over.
"Good morning Ariel, how are you this morning?", Denise asked.
"Very well, thank you.", I replied.
She nodded with a smile and took a seat in a chair across from me. She sat her cup on the stand next to her and sat her notepad on her lap. She flipped back a few pages and stopped on a new page.
"So tell me, how have you been feeling this week? Any new changes?", she asked as she took out a pen.
I shook my head. "No ma'am. Just the same old, same old."
She nodded her hand and began to scribble down notes. Se adjusted her glasses on her nose and then finally looked over at me.
"So tell me Ariel, have you been eating lately?", she asked.
I bit my lip, trying to hold back the smirk that wanted to form. I knew she was going to ask that question. If this session is going to be about my eating habits, then I guess it's time to tell Denise my story.
"Um, I have little by little.", I smiled. "But there really isn't much foods to choose from when your a vegetarian."
"I don't hate meat Mrs. Miller, I just choose to avoid it. I had a terrible experience with meat a few months ago.", I sighed.
I saw the questioning look appear on Denise's face and I knew now, I was reeling her in slowly. She looked curious and that satisfied me because now, Denise will know my true story of why I changed into a vegetarian.
"Oh?", Denise questioned. "And what bad experience would that be?"
"If I told you, you promise you won't freak out or...run?"
Denise raised her eyebrow in confusion and stared at me curiously.
"Everything you say to me, will be kept safe with me Ariel, you know that.", Denise smiled. "I'm here to talk to you, to help you with whatever it is that you need help with."
"I don't really need help, just someone to talk too. I have no friends and I just...want someone to talk to you know? Someone that I can trust."
"Well I'm your friend, and you can trust me with anything. All I ask from you Ariel, is to be honest with me ok?", Denise asked.
I nodded my head and let out a sigh. Now was the time to begin my story. "Well um, as I said before, I'm a vegetarian. I stopped eating meat since a few months ago when I started to come to you."
Denise eyed me questioningly and turned to her note pad and begin to scribble down notes. She nodded her head and motioned for me to continue.
"Well, I thought maybe if I turned into a vegetarian, maybe that would help control my hunger and-"
"Wait.", Denise cut in. "What do you mean control your hunger?"
"I was hungry non stop. I um...had an hunger that was never ending."
"Were you eating meat at this time?"
I nodded. "Yes ma'am, and meat was the only thing I ate at that time."
"Then why did you change into a vegetarian all of a sudden?"
I let out a sigh and ran my hands through my black, tangled hair in frustration. For some reason, I wanted to tell Denise so bad about my appetite, but now all of a sudden, I'm ashamed.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you Mrs. Miller. The meat I ate, isn't what you eat I'm sure."
The look of shock and curiosity now spread across Denise's face, almost making me erupt in laughter.
"What do you mean by that Ariel? I don't understand..."
"Cannibalism.", I blurted out.