The really strange,random,awkward,crazy and silly retelling of Harry Potters life

The really strange,random,awkward,crazy and silly retelling of Harry Potters life

I have no idea why you are reading this when the title explained it all!

published on May 03, 201367 reads 32 readers 7 not completed
Chapter 1.

BOOK/MOVIE 1-THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE!

There was once a boy named Hairy.Oh?Sorry!His name was Harry Potter.Or Hairy Potty as his dad liked to call him.Now this boy is really important because his parents died...I mean,because he killed the EVIL VILLIAN Moldy-shorts!Now,the day Moldy-shorts was destroyed some old guy named,Snumblesnore decided to thank Harry or Hairy by throwing him on his wizard-hating relatives porch.Of course they didn't like this!There names were:Uncle Vermin,Aunt Flowerhead and cousin Bumley.10 years later,Harry awoke and got the mail.He opened the ticket to the Dora the Explorer LIVE IN CONCERT (his cousins),the bills (his uncles) and the gardeners paycheck that was sent back (his aunts).BUT he took his own letter to the kitchen and was about to open it when Bumley farted.The whole house had to be evacuated.But Harry left his letter in the house.Two days later,they went back inside to find that Harrys letter had distingrated!Harry cried himself to sleep.The same thing happened every day until finally,a half-giant named Hagrid came and kidnapped Harry.Then he took Harry to a school named Hogwarts where he learned magic and met two friends named,Don and Derpmione.Now,one day Derpmione,Don & Harry were walking when they saw a trap door in the ground.Being the doofus that he is Don said,"Hey look a trap door!"Derpmione frowned."We know that Don.Come on!Let's go look this door up on Google."Derpmione suggested.They all agreed.So Harry typed "Why is there a random trap door in Hogwarts?" and clicked the "search" button.Only one answer looked appealing to them so they clicked it.And it said:BECAUSE SOMEBODYS HIDING SOMETHING THERE!So,Don,Harry & Derpmione returned to the trap door and opened it.BUT MOLDY-SHORTS WAS DOWN THERE!So Harry being the awesome wizard he is,took out his wand and cast a 'Alohomora' spell on Moldy-shorts.Moldy-shorts gasped for breath and threw a stone at Derpmione.Derpmione picked it up and on it it said:Philosophers Stone $3.99.Harry gasped."The stone was only $3.99?You mean I didn't have to cast the horrible spell known as 'Alohomora'?"Harry questioned.Don shook his head.Harry fell to his knees yelling "WHY?WHY?" into the night sky until Snumblesnore came and told him to get to bed because he was scaring Dragon Malloy.Harry sighed and went to bed.

END OF BOOK 1!
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Comments (7)

VictoireWeasley1821
Hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha. The only thing I say while reading this! Good job!
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on April 02
KayleeDaGirl
I wuv it! *Eats it* I hope i was being as random as the book. *burp*
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on February 12, 2014
Writerunner
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on October 11, 2013
Writerunner
Me LOVE!
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on October 11, 2013
wolfness
This is strange.
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on May 06, 2013
Moony
Lol.Yeah I do know that I was just really stuck for an ending and I was really tired and when i'm tired the randomest ideas cross my mind.Once me and my friend (when we were tired) thought that pickles were going to come alive and kill our race.
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on May 03, 2013
puglover3000
I really hope you actually know the real story and that "Alamora" unlocks things
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on May 03, 2013