new_girl_in_town - Page 3

Now I really feel bad. For the first time since I started watching the movie, I actually teared up watching the Princess Bride. Now I know just how crappy I've felt this whole time...

That moment when nothing but chocolate and chick flicks get you out of your stupor.

I feel like a total screw up. Like all I do is hurt then people around me. I don't mean to, I swear. I think what hurts more is how much I die inside every time I let someone down...

I feel dead... Like a zombie but with no purpose. I haven't slept well in almost a week, my appetite is declining, and I just can't seem to relax. I pace around my room... my house... my neighborhood... I try exercising, but I quickly lose motivation. Even chocolate and coffee lose their appeal to me. I have a good idea as to why I feel this way, but it doesn't matter. I have no tears left, and I feel so... empty.

I'm okay, but I'm not okay. Every day since Tuesday night, there is nothing more I've wanted to do than collapse onto the ground in a dark room and bawl my eyes out. Everyone either expects me to just give up or stay strong, but I can't do either. When I need strength to force a smile when someone is hurting me, either physically or emotionally, but I'm too weak to not let it hit home. I just want to see someone who knows me, not the illusion EVERYONE else sees with the forced See More▼ smile, and let them see just how weak and vulnerable I really am on the inside. I'm insecure, clumsy, passionate, and, above all, practically helpless. I'm always getting taken advantage of because I'm too weak to stick up for myself, but I'll always defend or help those in need. For once, I want to collapse and let someone else be the hero. No matter how hard I try, I always feel obligated to stand when no one else can and/or will, and it is slowly killing me on the inside. I feel like the abandoned ruins of some ancient civilization, long forgotten and practically useless to anyone. If I could have just one wish, it would be to have them courage and strength to stand up for the final fight...

Ever had one of those days were you knew you had to do something because it was in your best interest, only to find yourself in a situation where, if you did it, you'd screw everyone else over big time?

http://news.yahoo.com/justices-agree-hear-first-abortion-case-since-2007-192039091--politics.html
If you ask me, abortion is cruel and should have been abolished a long time ago. It's not fair to take a human life because you or the other person don't want to own up to your mistake. That is a human child growing inside your so how can you possibly be so heartless? What if that was you in there? Wouldn't you want someone show kindness and compassion towards you and decide to See More▼ love you and care for you rather than having you killed because they were too careless and didn't want to own up to their mistakes? The very same world where, if a child dies, the killer is publicly shunned, is allowing such a cruel practise continue to go on. Find your heart, people!

I witnessed the most incredible thing today. While I was at work, a guy came up to me and said he wanted me to ring up an extra $20 on his meal so he could pay for the people who came after him. When I couldn't figure out a way to do that without him giving me cash to use on the people behind him, he pulled out a 100 dollar bill and gave it to me, telling me to use it to pay for as many people as I could. I spent the next 10 minutes using that $100 to ring up people's meals. See More▼ However, I was both shocked and saddened by their reactions.

Only 3 people seemed truly grateful for what the man did. One wanted to thank him, even though I had promised the man I wouldn't tell who it had been, and one other almost cried as she went off. One even came back afterward and gave me $7, feeling bad that she couldn't give as much as the man had towards her meal. The rest didn't really seem to care. Once I told them that their meal was paid for, they just shrugged and walked away. Also, the man was watching the entire time.

I wanted to cry with each response I got. I was ashamed by those who didn't seem to care and wanted to cry with those who looked like they were going to because of the kindness the man showed. Even some of my co workers were amazed by what he had done. I think what hurt worse was how skeptical my manager was when I told her what happened. However, I was most surprised when the man approached me afterward and told me that he only regretted the fact that he couldn't pay for every meal that was bought during that rush. As he left, I almost cried once again.

Moral of the story: God is good. Some times, it only takes the kindness of a total stranger to be reminded of how good God can be.

Thank you for following.