on May 06, 2019
i really want someone to just hold me and tell me everything's gonna be okay
on May 06, 2019
just a lil reminder that I (for the most part) love everyone on this site (including people who have left) and I wish I could hug all of you
on May 05, 2019
This was the first picture of myself I ever posted on here.
https://www.qfeast.com/melodrama/profile/photo/7BjzeE
This was the most recent
https://www.qfeast.com/melodrama/profile/photo/Cpuigo
holy crap
https://www.qfeast.com/melodrama/profile/photo/7BjzeE
This was the most recent
https://www.qfeast.com/melodrama/profile/photo/Cpuigo
holy crap
on May 05, 2019
so what happened while I was gone ??
on May 04, 2019
I’m back hoes
on May 04, 2019
so I know the person sending me those tellonym messages is from here. so who tf is it
on April 30, 2019
this is a long post i've wanted to make for a long time, but never did
people with borderline personality disorder (bpd) quite literally cannot comprehend why anyone would want to be around them.
this sounds dramatic, but it's unfortunately true.
every friend i've ever had, every family member i know; I'm pretty much convinced they hate me.
I'm convinced that they only "put up with me" out of pity
I'm convinced that I am not worthy of having people who care about me.
Every last See More bit of logic and reasoning tells me this isn't true, that I do have people who care for me, but it has zero effect on me. The simple, basic fact, that I have people who love and truly care about me is completely false in my mind.
This is why I have such unsteady, tumultuous relationships
I truly cannot trust anyone because, in my mind, they are guaranteed to betray me
This doesn't mean I can't love anyone, or care about anyone, because I feel those things very deeply, sometimes too deeply.
love (romantic or just friendship) is super complicated. Sometimes, I feel so deeply for someone else that they become my everything. my reason for living, my "favourite person" (fp).
fp can do no wrong. even if they were to hurt me, I would immediately forgive them, because they are almost god-like.
but with other people, things are very different. if someone was to be kind to me, I would be suspicious of them at first, then I would begin to see them as "good", but if they do something wrong, even a simple mistake that affected me, that "good" view of them vanishes. I see them as "out to get me", until something can prove to my mind that they are good again.
despite almost all the facts and statistics being against me, I will continue to think this. This is a bit hard to understand, but it's the truth.
sometimes I can reassure myself with these facts, but I will never fully be able to accept them as true.
so please, if you are friends, family, or partners to someone with bpd, please be patient with them, as we really can't help it.
people with borderline personality disorder (bpd) quite literally cannot comprehend why anyone would want to be around them.
this sounds dramatic, but it's unfortunately true.
every friend i've ever had, every family member i know; I'm pretty much convinced they hate me.
I'm convinced that they only "put up with me" out of pity
I'm convinced that I am not worthy of having people who care about me.
Every last See More bit of logic and reasoning tells me this isn't true, that I do have people who care for me, but it has zero effect on me. The simple, basic fact, that I have people who love and truly care about me is completely false in my mind.
This is why I have such unsteady, tumultuous relationships
I truly cannot trust anyone because, in my mind, they are guaranteed to betray me
This doesn't mean I can't love anyone, or care about anyone, because I feel those things very deeply, sometimes too deeply.
love (romantic or just friendship) is super complicated. Sometimes, I feel so deeply for someone else that they become my everything. my reason for living, my "favourite person" (fp).
fp can do no wrong. even if they were to hurt me, I would immediately forgive them, because they are almost god-like.
but with other people, things are very different. if someone was to be kind to me, I would be suspicious of them at first, then I would begin to see them as "good", but if they do something wrong, even a simple mistake that affected me, that "good" view of them vanishes. I see them as "out to get me", until something can prove to my mind that they are good again.
despite almost all the facts and statistics being against me, I will continue to think this. This is a bit hard to understand, but it's the truth.
sometimes I can reassure myself with these facts, but I will never fully be able to accept them as true.
so please, if you are friends, family, or partners to someone with bpd, please be patient with them, as we really can't help it.
on April 30, 2019
sorry if I seem a little distant lately, I’ve been incredibly depressed and anxious and my bpd is just being extra bad rn
Do what you gotta do to take care of yourself hon
I'm always here if you need someone to vent to
I'm always here if you need someone to vent to
on April 30, 2019
on April 30, 2019
if you see someone's vent post and you say "oof" "mood" "LMAO ME" or anything similar, go fück yourself
on April 29, 2019
I want to fücking die I’m so tired of feeling like shit and being told I’m a shitty person when I try so damn hard to be kind
Maybe I should just fûcking kill myself because that’s clearly what everyone wants
Maybe I should just fûcking kill myself because that’s clearly what everyone wants
on April 27, 2019
ok now there’s a second person who hates me and wants me to fûcking kill myself
on April 26, 2019
please stop sending me those messages
it’s clearly someone from here sending them
it’s clearly someone from here sending them
@cairngorm
I would, but I have really got to figure out who this person is.
I have no clue who it might be. None at all.
I would, but I have really got to figure out who this person is.
I have no clue who it might be. None at all.
on April 26, 2019
on April 26, 2019
why is this getting to me
ik they're a fücking pussy
ik they're wrong
but it still hurts me
it makes me want to fücking hurt myself
ik they're a fücking pussy
ik they're wrong
but it still hurts me
it makes me want to fücking hurt myself
Even e if you *did* hurt them in anyway you don't deserve to be talked to the way they are talking to you. That's just horrible.
on April 26, 2019
Literally how is it your fault? Did you hold a gun to their head and force them to send you hate? Yeah, exactly. It's just some insecure little pussy projecting their own shit onto you, taking it out on you, and trying to play the victim.
on April 26, 2019
It's not your fault you're having emotions. It sucks that this is happening to you. At the end of the day, you can only control how you react to it. Try to take care of yourself. Take some time away from the internet for a bit.
on April 26, 2019
on April 26, 2019
HOW IS THAT AN INSULT IM