i’m so excited that i learned how to knit… i will make a scarf for my future concrete porch goose. and a hat for my Beautiful Wife
about an hour ago
reading the ancient texts (old feast posts) and in 2022 i posted "REHEHEHE" and then commented "Sorry guys my quandale dingle alter fronted" i will never be that funny again oh my goddd
about 2 hours ago
picking up high society again but just Absolutely ruining every single character everybody gets flanderized also making them be in a polycule
about 2 hours ago
about 2 hours ago
the more i think about it the more i am realizing that my former best friend was jealous of me all along
like i get it tbh?? like undeniably between the two of us i was always the one who got the most attention from men/other women but why was she mad at me for that That is not what I intended
about 5 hours ago
about 6 hours ago
why is it that i could not learn how to crochet like I gave myself so many headaches trying to learn n could never figure out anything beyond a chain stitch but knitting??? Literally watched two youtube tutorials and got it instantly i still need to practice and get my yarn tension down but the motions themselves??? i can knit and purl endlessly wtf
about 11 hours ago
how do u know if ur in a slow burn situation or you’re just delusional
it’s been over 6 months and the look in his eyes while i sat on the edge of his bed and reached for his hand is still stuck in my brain guys am i cooked
yesterday
it’s been 2 years and nothing has happened but also nothing has ….not happened? like nobody’s addressing the elephant in the room directly but it’s very much there and there have been SO many moments where lines have been crossed to the point where i have to jump thru hoops to even convince myself this could Possibly be a platonic interaction… ok we just hugged See More goodbye at the train station but it’s been a solid fifteen seconds and you still have your hands on me and now my hands are on you also and another fifteen seconds passed and we are staring longingly into one another’s eyes Are we both just too autistic to pick up on one another’s social cues what’s going on
yesterday
yesterday
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DedhWIyOX6U/?dlrf=MXJseHZubjZsdTN5ZQ==
siren song at the lake before a thunderstorm
siren song at the lake before a thunderstorm
on Saturday
boutta head to my 10hr shift (i’ve gotten maybe 8 hrs of sleep in the past 2 nights my cramps have been so bad i have not been able to stay asleep more than 3 hrs at a time and im bleeding so heavy im dizzy Yayyy yayy womanhood)
on Saturday
also that guy Ousghshdjeh i keep rereading journal entries from after i see him and it makes me want him so bad I truly feel like the truest version of myself around him bc i know he’s not gonna be put off by me nor is he going to get weird/creepy ab my quirks Truly the only person i’ve been able to fall asleep beside too
i remember 2 years ago just laying awake in bed every time my then gf would sleep over and having to lie and pretend i actually slept so i wouldn’t hurt her feelings May 20 2026 at this guy’s house laid down next to him on the couch Woke up w my head flush against his upper leg about 6 inches away from his crotch He did not lean into it nor did he make any effort See More to move away
on Friday
on Friday
also funny af how she had no problem w any of my situationships except devious white boy… radio silence when my ex gf was cancelling every day to go cheat on me w my other friend Nothing ab the guy i was seeing who was doing a shit ton of coke and molly every day then calling me on the phone while i was in class (time zone difference also he lives in europe) bc he eloped while intoxicated and got lost Also actively encouraged me to keep seeing this one guy who i actively stated See More i had no feelings for but she did not fw the guy ive liked for two years who has approached me with more gentleness and understanding than anyone else i know Literally a man who i would say deserved sm better than the person i was before this summer and has probably had every right and reason to just walk away from me but chose to stick around
on Friday
former best friend posting ab me on twitter Loser shit imma post about her on qfeast
she made a post about how she took a pic of me and the guy i liked n i said “we look like isaiah and ethel cain” n she thought i meant some couple shit Bro isaiah trafficked murdered and cannibalized her i said that shit cuz we were posed up in front of a church dressed like them looking evil as fuckk
on Friday
on Friday
local girl convinced she is having heart attack and will die tonight (i’m not overweight, i don’t have heart disease or diabetes, i dont rly drink or smoke much these days, i walk a lot, and i dont drink soda or eat fast food or much oil at all aside from some olive oil + butter on my toast)
on Thursday
sometimes i see a relic from the past
guys Wyd if you walk into a guy’s apartment and he has a love letter you wrote him in 2024 hanging on his wall eye level in the center of all the drawings and scraps and collagey stuff he has on the wall
8 days ago
8 days ago
more updates hehehe
-played another lake show!!
-music has become more central to my life than ever (it always has been but now i have enough time and energy to do it and im also good enough now to not really be shy about it anymore) i’ve been playing a lot, like several hours a day.
-on the topic of music i impulse bought another guitar. $50 at the thrift store. it’s a beginner level classical guitar and i love it it sounds so very nice and ive been very inspired to write See More since buying it
-for the first time since i moved to chicago i think we’re getting a real fall. 40-65 degrees for weeks instead of immediate drop from 80-30. i love it.
-have been really into cutting people off. i’ve just decided i have no tolerance for certain things anymore and accepted that i am not “mean” for cutting off contact even if there is no closure or explanation. it is my life and i am in control of what i who i want in it idk
-related to that man ive been doing so incredibly well since ending my friendship w/ nadia. two weeks makes officially 5 months since we last talked, make it 6 not counting the final argument we had. i feel like i’ve grown so much as a person, and according to our mutual “friend” (she does not really like her anymore either but keeps her around to keep tabs) she has only continued to spiral further down this weird pipeline of internal misogyny and constant self destruction + still talks shit ab me publicly on social media platforms im not even on lol. i find it kinda hard to even feel bad for her anymore.
-my other friendships feel much healthier now that she’s gone. i have a real supportive network of people for the first time. and especially music friends lots of music friends who i can sing with!!!
-love life has still been pretty dull. honestly have not had genuine interest in anyone since The White Boy of 2024. have had many suitors. had a man tell me in response to being told right off the bat that i don’t want a relationship that “it’s ok and he doesn’t expect anything, at least not right now” i can already tell im about to be 500 days if summered so bad. have been trying to make plans w WB but both of us are super overbooked work wise. next time i see him i want to hash things out, at least make sure he knows why ive been lowkey crazy. i kinda meant to have that convo when i saw him last time but neither of us were feeling well so we just basically napped half the hangout.
-made soup today it was so yummy.
-i picked up a 7-2 tmr at my amazing job that i love so much. can’t sleep tho bc my period’s ab to start and im experiencing the same weird nausea i always get 5 days before my period and its making me anxious.
-played another lake show!!
-music has become more central to my life than ever (it always has been but now i have enough time and energy to do it and im also good enough now to not really be shy about it anymore) i’ve been playing a lot, like several hours a day.
-on the topic of music i impulse bought another guitar. $50 at the thrift store. it’s a beginner level classical guitar and i love it it sounds so very nice and ive been very inspired to write See More since buying it
-for the first time since i moved to chicago i think we’re getting a real fall. 40-65 degrees for weeks instead of immediate drop from 80-30. i love it.
-have been really into cutting people off. i’ve just decided i have no tolerance for certain things anymore and accepted that i am not “mean” for cutting off contact even if there is no closure or explanation. it is my life and i am in control of what i who i want in it idk
-related to that man ive been doing so incredibly well since ending my friendship w/ nadia. two weeks makes officially 5 months since we last talked, make it 6 not counting the final argument we had. i feel like i’ve grown so much as a person, and according to our mutual “friend” (she does not really like her anymore either but keeps her around to keep tabs) she has only continued to spiral further down this weird pipeline of internal misogyny and constant self destruction + still talks shit ab me publicly on social media platforms im not even on lol. i find it kinda hard to even feel bad for her anymore.
-my other friendships feel much healthier now that she’s gone. i have a real supportive network of people for the first time. and especially music friends lots of music friends who i can sing with!!!
-love life has still been pretty dull. honestly have not had genuine interest in anyone since The White Boy of 2024. have had many suitors. had a man tell me in response to being told right off the bat that i don’t want a relationship that “it’s ok and he doesn’t expect anything, at least not right now” i can already tell im about to be 500 days if summered so bad. have been trying to make plans w WB but both of us are super overbooked work wise. next time i see him i want to hash things out, at least make sure he knows why ive been lowkey crazy. i kinda meant to have that convo when i saw him last time but neither of us were feeling well so we just basically napped half the hangout.
-made soup today it was so yummy.
-i picked up a 7-2 tmr at my amazing job that i love so much. can’t sleep tho bc my period’s ab to start and im experiencing the same weird nausea i always get 5 days before my period and its making me anxious.
9 days ago
geordie greep situation is so upsetting What the fuckk
i don’t think the incident is necessarily career ending as it stands (unless more info comes out that proves otherwise) like i think he needs to take some time out of the public eye to better himself + prove he’s changed after the fact but the fact that he’s doubling down on his narrative does not leave me feeling hopeful
12 days ago
have been following his music for quite a long time i dont listen as much anymore but still enjoyed his solo album + his work w/ black midi this is… was rly hoping the initial allegations were fake/slander or a huge misunderstanding and ig they were to some extent bc it was not what the third party claimed but i’ve read both his statement and the victim’s and See More Yeahhh not looking good
12 days ago
12 days ago
weirdass arc wtf
-hosted another lakeshow. magical. i want to devote my life to diy
-stalker has let up for now but i still am lowkey paranoid. i dread running into him/his friends in my neighborhood.
-stalker in question exposed me to that dude im into. straight up hit him up “she’s weird and she wants you so bad” worst case scenario shit. he did not gaf, blocked/reported my stalker, talked me thru the whole thing and we chatted a lot. i want to see him soon once both of us See More are less busy but im also nervous bc i feel like a talk is coming. i kinda felt like it after the last 9hr hangout where we took multiple naps and at the train station he was very touchy w/ me but after it was brought up directly by a third party… yeah elephant in the room is doing tricks now i fear.
-i currently have several people trying to pursue me. it’s taking everything in me not to j ghost all of them bc im so very not interested goodness gracious i like that boy so bad i hate it
-learning how to code and working on a website
-playing ocarina of time
-hosted another lakeshow. magical. i want to devote my life to diy
-stalker has let up for now but i still am lowkey paranoid. i dread running into him/his friends in my neighborhood.
-stalker in question exposed me to that dude im into. straight up hit him up “she’s weird and she wants you so bad” worst case scenario shit. he did not gaf, blocked/reported my stalker, talked me thru the whole thing and we chatted a lot. i want to see him soon once both of us See More are less busy but im also nervous bc i feel like a talk is coming. i kinda felt like it after the last 9hr hangout where we took multiple naps and at the train station he was very touchy w/ me but after it was brought up directly by a third party… yeah elephant in the room is doing tricks now i fear.
-i currently have several people trying to pursue me. it’s taking everything in me not to j ghost all of them bc im so very not interested goodness gracious i like that boy so bad i hate it
-learning how to code and working on a website
-playing ocarina of time
24 days ago
25 days ago