tw really big vent(includes sh, su1cide implications, that shit) bc qfeast is literally the only safe space i have access to rn and only one
-
-
-
-
-
- See More
-
-
-
-
-
-
I seriously can't do this anymore. 14 years of being alive, 2 of them ive barely survived through. I made a promise, I made multiple thinking i'd be able to keep them. But i think this would be better. For me, for my family, and friends and girlfriend. but who am i kidding? i have one place i make friends, the internet and most of them went away too. "i should be over my friends' death by now" i lost them to ffucking suicide, a couple months ago. I didn't talk with them often, but i miss them. My closest friends aren't ever online, I can barely be sure if my OWN GIRLFRIEND is lying to me or not. I don't want to be here, but I made promises. I can't be myself, not even here online. I don't want to make it 15 years of being alive, I can't deal with myself. I feel fat and way too skinny at the same time. I'm short for my age but youre only 2in taller. So I round up my age, I limit what I eat to under what I should. My voice is deep, but it's scratchy and "not feminine." I don't shave, but because of society's standards i cant wear clothes I want. I scratch myself until it cuts, but what's my reasoning? And of course, when i feel this way nobody is there to help me so I'm all alone with the thoughts building up. But I can't express because there's always someone there. And I don't want them to know I feel this way. You're a liar, but I deal with it because I love you. And it's bad, for both of us. I will admit, I can be an attention seeker. It's because I refuse to have attention irl. I'll admit, I've made fake accounts places, but it's so that I could divide and block my feelings. I'll admit, that originally I started out with "faking" my depression and anxiety, but of course they're real now. And more than ever. I don't want to be here, I can't be here. I'm suffering, but im too much of a chicken to do anything. I need the help I cannot get. Because I don't know the answers. I've been loosing motivation to even get out of bed or up off the damn couch. I want to be out of this world. I don't care if i'm in a virtual reality but still in this world, I don't want to be in this specific one. I'm sorry. But truth gets out eventually. And if you and your little liar friends didn't do shit, if you ms ferguson didn't abuse my fragile mental state, if you my parents helped me when i was a kid, then i woldn't be like this. Maybe I' be worse? But this is already a living hell. That's not even it or all. I can't. I'm sorry.
-
-
-
-
-
- See More
-
-
-
-
-
-
I seriously can't do this anymore. 14 years of being alive, 2 of them ive barely survived through. I made a promise, I made multiple thinking i'd be able to keep them. But i think this would be better. For me, for my family, and friends and girlfriend. but who am i kidding? i have one place i make friends, the internet and most of them went away too. "i should be over my friends' death by now" i lost them to ffucking suicide, a couple months ago. I didn't talk with them often, but i miss them. My closest friends aren't ever online, I can barely be sure if my OWN GIRLFRIEND is lying to me or not. I don't want to be here, but I made promises. I can't be myself, not even here online. I don't want to make it 15 years of being alive, I can't deal with myself. I feel fat and way too skinny at the same time. I'm short for my age but youre only 2in taller. So I round up my age, I limit what I eat to under what I should. My voice is deep, but it's scratchy and "not feminine." I don't shave, but because of society's standards i cant wear clothes I want. I scratch myself until it cuts, but what's my reasoning? And of course, when i feel this way nobody is there to help me so I'm all alone with the thoughts building up. But I can't express because there's always someone there. And I don't want them to know I feel this way. You're a liar, but I deal with it because I love you. And it's bad, for both of us. I will admit, I can be an attention seeker. It's because I refuse to have attention irl. I'll admit, I've made fake accounts places, but it's so that I could divide and block my feelings. I'll admit, that originally I started out with "faking" my depression and anxiety, but of course they're real now. And more than ever. I don't want to be here, I can't be here. I'm suffering, but im too much of a chicken to do anything. I need the help I cannot get. Because I don't know the answers. I've been loosing motivation to even get out of bed or up off the damn couch. I want to be out of this world. I don't care if i'm in a virtual reality but still in this world, I don't want to be in this specific one. I'm sorry. But truth gets out eventually. And if you and your little liar friends didn't do shit, if you ms ferguson didn't abuse my fragile mental state, if you my parents helped me when i was a kid, then i woldn't be like this. Maybe I' be worse? But this is already a living hell. That's not even it or all. I can't. I'm sorry.
on August 19, 2022
on August 19, 2022
whats creepy is when i take quizzes of people i dont even know and they're quizzes like "how well do you know me" and i get very well
on August 19, 2022
do you pronounce 2rd like turd or like seco- wait wha?
on August 18, 2022
my boring ass hobbies in my boring ass life because im a boring ass walking L:
daily identitiy crisis
roleplay
stalking active discord servers
tiktok has literally become a hobby of mine
daily identitiy crisis
roleplay
stalking active discord servers
tiktok has literally become a hobby of mine
on August 17, 2022
pov my ass in a sarcastic and shitty mood explaining how i feel(tw):
awesome or wonderful: i wanna kms
great: im thinking on whether ill survive today or not
good: either good or bad, you decide
eh: eh. im just eh. not good not bad
bad: i feel shitty but not too shitty, i trust you to tell my actual feelings
horrible: just kill me tbh
awesome or wonderful: i wanna kms
great: im thinking on whether ill survive today or not
good: either good or bad, you decide
eh: eh. im just eh. not good not bad
bad: i feel shitty but not too shitty, i trust you to tell my actual feelings
horrible: just kill me tbh
on August 17, 2022
on August 17, 2022
bro ive been feeling more and more shitty since last week i hate myself tbh
on August 17, 2022
"listen closely, my dear" she said inching towards him. Her hand raising to his cheek. "It's Worcestershire sauce." -my friend's status
on August 16, 2022
shoulda knnown i was gay when i was 5 thinking "why do girls date guys wouldnt they wanna date girls because theyd understand more and have more in common"
on August 16, 2022
does anyone wantt me to build them a house on bloxburg bc im bored and that's becomng a damn hobby
on August 16, 2022
my ass saying "lol" after a really gut wrenching, table turning, stomach sickening, Garbage eating, sob-worthy, traumatizing event to lighten up the mood
on August 16, 2022
gonna be honest here, idk how much longer ill make it
on August 16, 2022
on August 16, 2022
pov youre always the neutral so you always help decide on drama n decisions
on August 16, 2022
:(
on August 16, 2022
waffles >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
on August 15, 2022