Cashmere - Page 11

you know what we need?
the story of Clarisse and Chris!!!

when you cant even talk to a guy (whom you are literally JUST FRIENDS with) without your sisters making kissy faces and basically planning your wedding and scaring him away
this is why the only guy friends I have are by best friends older brothers, who are basically my brothers now too

LET'S FACE IT, ENGLISH IS A CRAZY LANGUAGE:

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that See More▼ writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise guy and a wise man are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn down as it burns up, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, across the ages, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they're visible, but when the lights are out, they aren't.

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a See More▼ tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him, but imagine the feminine: she, shis, and shim.