I'm surprised I haven't been yelled at for not being the girl my mom wants me to be.
on October 03, 2016
*gets home*
*immediantly changes into baggy cloths, removes my makeup, and pulls my hair back*
OKAY I FEEL MUCH BETTER
*immediantly changes into baggy cloths, removes my makeup, and pulls my hair back*
OKAY I FEEL MUCH BETTER
on October 03, 2016
It literally gets in my nerves when my parents call me a girl right to my face. Like, they talk about me and call me a girl. I hate it when people do it in general call me a girl. It doesn't both me when my younger sisters do it because they don't know, they've known me as a girl and if I tell them otherwise they'll keep calling me a girl or if they do call me a boy, my mom will get mad at me.
on October 03, 2016
Mom: your friends are influencing you to be pan and trans
Me: bitch I was one of the first few who came out as pan and genderfluid, not trans. Then Matt came out some time later. If anyone is influencing anyone, it's me influencing my friends.
Me: bitch I was one of the first few who came out as pan and genderfluid, not trans. Then Matt came out some time later. If anyone is influencing anyone, it's me influencing my friends.
on October 03, 2016
I'm going cloths shopping with my mom soon.
I'm going to try and ask her if I can get either a men's jacket or a men's shirt. Just one, and I'll be satisfied. I'm probably going to be stubborn with Fall cloths shopping, only wanting to get dark colored flannel that looks masculine, baggy jackets, baggy sweaters, and baggy pants. I'm not getting anything fitted. If it AT ALL shows off my disgusting feminine body, I ain't buying it, no matter how much I may like the design.
I'm going to try and ask her if I can get either a men's jacket or a men's shirt. Just one, and I'll be satisfied. I'm probably going to be stubborn with Fall cloths shopping, only wanting to get dark colored flannel that looks masculine, baggy jackets, baggy sweaters, and baggy pants. I'm not getting anything fitted. If it AT ALL shows off my disgusting feminine body, I ain't buying it, no matter how much I may like the design.
on October 03, 2016
Mom: why don't you wear any of the cloths I buy you?
Me: they're not the right cloths. They're women's.
Me: they're not the right cloths. They're women's.
on October 03, 2016
I don't want to go to school tomorrow..
Mainly because I have to face the fact that I'm a p big fail, and the fact that everyone will constantly misgender me.
But I'm getting my hair cut this week(most likely) and HOPEFULLY my hairdresser will actually cut my hair right for once. It's going to be between what I have now(hair that goes to my shoulders) and a male haircut. It's supposed to be short in the back, with longer hair in the front. Hopefully, I can get the hairdresser See More to make my hair look as masculine as possible. Hopefully, she'll do it, and maybe my mom won't be upset with me.
Mainly because I have to face the fact that I'm a p big fail, and the fact that everyone will constantly misgender me.
But I'm getting my hair cut this week(most likely) and HOPEFULLY my hairdresser will actually cut my hair right for once. It's going to be between what I have now(hair that goes to my shoulders) and a male haircut. It's supposed to be short in the back, with longer hair in the front. Hopefully, I can get the hairdresser See More to make my hair look as masculine as possible. Hopefully, she'll do it, and maybe my mom won't be upset with me.
on October 03, 2016
Honestly, when I'm older and I come out as Genderfluid like
And demand my parents to call me something else, and not what I'd been born as. If my parents refuse, I will refuse to speak to them or even see them until they accept and respect me.
When I'm older and move out, I won't respect them if they won't respect me :/
And demand my parents to call me something else, and not what I'd been born as. If my parents refuse, I will refuse to speak to them or even see them until they accept and respect me.
When I'm older and move out, I won't respect them if they won't respect me :/
on October 02, 2016
on October 02, 2016
I'm internally screaming because my mom has listened to Hamilton.
My grandma brought up that the Broadway recording was going to be on PBS and my mom showed interest. I smiled a whole bunch then got the courage to ask if I could watch it. She asked if I had listened to it, and I told her that is listened to the whole thing.
She said she'd think about me watching it, and my aunt said there was some language and I just say: I know I've listened to it.
Hope I can watch it
My grandma brought up that the Broadway recording was going to be on PBS and my mom showed interest. I smiled a whole bunch then got the courage to ask if I could watch it. She asked if I had listened to it, and I told her that is listened to the whole thing.
She said she'd think about me watching it, and my aunt said there was some language and I just say: I know I've listened to it.
Hope I can watch it
on October 02, 2016
I'm also scared for myself bc I kept thinking suicidal things at church.
on October 02, 2016
My dad kept attacking me with questions on Christianity and stuff like
Stop please
Stop please
on October 02, 2016
on October 02, 2016
Teacher: punishment is done to correct behavior
Me: I knew my parents are trying to make me straight.. What can be corrected from being a pan man?
Me: I knew my parents are trying to make me straight.. What can be corrected from being a pan man?
on October 02, 2016
on October 02, 2016
Feeling awful bc you can't help anyone
on October 02, 2016
on October 02, 2016
Aaand I'm feeling guilty again
I feel like everyone dislikes him bc of me.
I feel like everyone dislikes him bc of me.
on October 02, 2016
A friend's friend who liked me whom I ended up liking back
@Vilight_the_storm_wolfgirl
@Vilight_the_storm_wolfgirl
on October 02, 2016
on October 02, 2016
I hate how when I wear makeup at school, people question me about it. That's why I only wear makeup at church bc no one questions me.
on October 02, 2016
on October 02, 2016