DGM"It's a long story."
"You have conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time."
"Astrea, if you don't tell me right now, I will do something that I will regret."
"Because I want to know what happened."
"Well, it all started when I was hungry."
"You wanted to know what happened so let me tell my story."
"Well, I went on an adventure to go get food from the fridge. I blinked and the next thing I know, I'm in this weird place with unicorns and stuff and everything is either rainbow colored or emo. I see a fridge floating in the distance so I slowly float towards it like that thing they do in the movies when something rare or beautiful pops up in front of them."
"SHOOSH. So when I finally got to the thing, I look inside and there is a portal to another dimension. I'm irritated at this point because I still haven't found any food so I go through the portal and end up in my worst nightmare. THAT MUTHAFUKIN CHEESY RATS PLACE!"
"Chuck E Cheese?"
"Yeah, that place! So when I touch the ground, the damn place is like Five Nights at Freddy's and so I last the 20 long nights there and at the end I did NOT get a paycheck. I got a pizza but then a sticky note appears on it and says 'HAHA can't catch me!' and so I got warped to another dimension that is pastel in every way shape and form but also very deadly. So I manage to survive the place and then I get told that I have to go through one more trial to get my food. So I go to this trail and I have to fight this fat guy. What was his name? The Earl of Century?"
"The Millennium Earl?"
"Yeah, that guy. So we have an epic battle and when I defeat him he says "Here, you can have your pizza back now." So I'm all happy but when he gives me the pizza, it's just one slice so I glare at him. Then he just floats away yelling "YOU'LL NEVER GET IT BACK HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA" and then I was back at home with a pizza slice in my mouth."
"Were you high?"
"At this point, I have no idea."