Jokes* where is the best place to be in a zombie apocalypse? A: the living room!
* why did tiger stuck his head in the toilet? A: he was looking for pooh!
* aghdhridnen, Hellen Keller's dog.
* Don't see no evil, don't speak no evil, don't hear no evil, wait to go Helen Keller!
* I changed all my passwords to incorrect so whenever I forgot my password it will tell me "Your password is incorrect".
* You know what the difference is between a tuna a piano and glue? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Now what a bout the glue? I knew you'd get stuck there!
* Looks like I'll be seeing you in the next life, oh wait, I'm going to heaven!
* if you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit, they're usually 90 degrees
* I would make another chemistry joke but all the good ones argon.
* I don't always go to the gym but when I do I make sure Facebook knows about it!