Wanna Stay Awake

Why I Hate Sleeping

        I used to think that nightmares aren't real. That there are only dreams that are annoying but not nightmares. I only used to see them in movies and hear about them. But I have never had a nightmare. I have been in dreams where I get killed, where I lose someone dear, but I have never reached to a point where I call that dream a nightmare. But now... I believe in nightmares. They exist, they've always been around me but waiting for the right moment to simply make me hate sleeping, hate dreams, hate life.
        It's funny how we hate dreams because they're too good but not true, and how we hate nightmares because they are so true. The thing about dreams, is that when you sleep, you always see and do the things you love and always wanted to do, that's why we call our goals in life "dreams", because they are beautiful, but yet too difficult to make it real.
        I hate sleeping, I hate closing my eyes, I hate nightmares and I hate dreams. A dream last for few moments, it makes you love it and want it and mostly, believe it, but when you finally wake up and realize that these beautiful things are NOT here, they are not real. A nightmare last also for a longer time and it is also to remind you that the bad things in your life do exist, the things you're avoiding in reality are hunting you down in your most peaceful moment; in your house, your bed, in your sleep.
        During the day I try so hard to reach my goals and do what I wanted the most, making me another step closer to my "dream". But at the end of the day, when I sleep, a dream comes to ruin all of that, to show me how far yet I am, how hard it is to do what I want. Breaking me down. And during the day you try to forget your sadness and the things that always makes you down in life, but yet again, a nightmare comes at the end of the day to remind you and show you that these things still around and that you can't get rid of.
        So what are my true nightmares? The real ones. The ones not about dragons or aliens, these are not dreams or nightmares. The real nightmares are the ones about your life, about you. Real dreams are my life itself, the moment my eyes open, that's my dream, and I'm the one who decides what happens.