Trials

Trials

   Why are they always doing this to me?
Making me feel so sick, can't they see?
   This always happens, every year,
But yet they don't see me shed my tear.
    I don't think they care about me at all,
And here I am, I'll tumble and fall.
    I fall to the ground and what do I see?
My friends there all gone, gone without me.
    I try not to notice, I pay them no attention,
But yet the air seems to fill with anger and tension.
    I now don't know,
If they like me or no.
   But I know for a fact,
Actual conversations we're starting to lack,
   They'll probably say that everything's fine,
That everything is all in my mind.
   But I know for a fact that this time it's not,
So I'll just sit here and I'll write a lot.
   I hope that they know they are excluding me,
Cause that's something everyone else can perfectly see.
   So will I be alone? How will I know?
Do they all not like me? Why is this so?
   Am I too weird, stupid, annoying or loud?
All I know now is that my sky is covered with a cloud.
   I'm now a nervous wreck, scared of every little shadow,
I'm terrified that when it comes to myself, I'm small and hollow.
   Am I accepted? Am I okay?
I'm worried about yesterday, tomorrow, and today.
   But I've told myself from now on I'll be strong,
I won't prove myself wrong.
   I'll put everything behind me.
And make the future easier to see.
   I won't cover it up with a fog called fear,
I won't fill a river with my tear.
   I won't care what they do or say,
And i will keep my eyes on today.
  I will stay me, they won't change me at all,
I'll dry my eyes, that's the last time I'll bawl.
  I will be okay, trust me they'll see,
Because I will forever remain me.