Eye of the Storm

Chapter 7

I don’t know how many hours we spent looking for Ethan but its dark now and everyone can barely stand, let alone call out his name.
“Esme, come on, we can’t keep going like this, everyone’s exhausted,” Lorenzo sighs, thumping into the sand. I don’t want to give up, this is all my fault. I just want to know that he’s safe, that he’s ok.
“We can’t stop now, we might be close!” I protest. Everyone looks at me, their faces all reading the same thing. He’s not close. He’s nowhere to be seen.
“Just give him time, I’m sure he’ll come back when he’s ready, he’s smart, he knows how to survive,” Lorenzo says, walking up to me and holding me in a tight embrace. “Come on Ezzie, let’s go back,” I slowly nod, holding back my tears. Lorenzo leads me back through everyone and back to the shelter, sitting me down against a plank of wood. “Get some sleep.”

***

“Esme, wake up,” enters my mind. I can feel my body being shaken by rough hands against my shoulder. “Esme please this is important,” my eyes slowly peel open letting a few tears slip down my face.
“Ethan?” I choke.
“No, open your eyes properly,” my eyes focus and the image in front of me becomes clear.
“Leo…” I murmur. He nods. His eyes are wild, red. I’ve never seen this kind of look on him before. It’s almost sad. Lost.
“Esme… you better come outside,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. He leads me out on my shaky legs towards a lump near the water.
“Esme I’m so sorry,” Isla whispers, choking on her own tears. I look around at everyone. They all have the ‘lost’ look about them.
“What happened?” I ask. Leo guides me to the lump.
“There was no saving him…” Lorenzo chokes. I walk closer, terror striking me down. Sheer terror. My best friend, laying in front of me. Dead.

I run my hands across the cold skin of his cheek.
“I’m sorry…” I sob, grabbing his hands in mine. His body is damaged beyond repair, the skin losing its colour. “I’m so sorry!” I feel God’s hand reach into my chest and scoop out my heart, snapping the veins on its way. Arms wrap around my shoulders, I don’t know whose. I don’t dare break my attention away from Ethan. I’ve been acting out of line and needed a wakeup call, but this was not wakeup call I deserve.
“It’s ok…” Leo whispers into my ear. “It’s ok,” his arm tightens around me. I shake my head.
“It’s not!” I splutter. Leo grabs my head, directing it into his chest, stroking my hair as my tears stain his shirt. My fingers slowly let go of Ethan, coming up to hold onto Leo.
“Shhh…” he soothes.
“Why are you… how… why did…” I stumble over my words.
“Shhh,” he picks me up off the ground, holding me to him tightly. I shut my eyes, being consumed by the darkness within, clutching on to the last source of light left, Leo. He walks me back over the sand, making sure I don’t trip.
“Where are we going?” I whimper in between sniffles. He just shushes me another time.

We walk for about a minute, Leo not daring to let go of me.
“We’re here,” he helps me down next to a tree and I rub the tears out of my eyes. We’re in almost a clearing, but that’s impossible. The grass is soft and luscious, the sun coating everything. “Just stay here, relax, don’t think about anything,” he looks down at me, his eyes watery. “I’ll come back in a few hours,”
“No…” I murmur, reaching up to him. The last thing I need right now is to be left alone with my thoughts. They’re dangerous. Life threatening. Leo sighs, sitting down next to me, running his hands through his hair.
“Esme I’m really sorry,” he looks at me. “No one needed this, no one deserved this. Especially not him, makes me feel like a shithead for this stupid ass rivalry.” I reach up to his hand, grabbing it softly.
“Don’t blame yourself, it’s my fault,” I grab his hand tighter. “It’s my fault, because I’m crazy about you,” not the best time to confess but it just seems right. Ethan ran off because of all this uncertainty and the least I can do is make sure I sort my feelings out. I don’t know if he intended to die, or if he really was going to come back. I know it’ll haunt me for life but I need to accept that I’ll never know.

“Is that so?” Leo asks, sniffling a little. I nod. He squeezes my hand back. “There’s no way we’re going to survive alone, we need to do this together, despite what you may think,” his eyes stab right into mine, almost intimidating. There’s no point in denying, I know he’s right. Surviving is hard enough but surviving with the weight of my best friend’s death on my shoulders is unbearable. It’s so easy to give up and the temptation is creeping, but I know I can’t.
“Ok,” I whisper. Leo grabs me in his arms.
“It’ll be ok,” he says. “I promise you,”