love comes in many forms

chapter one

        My name is Todd and, I've always been different  ever since I was in the third grade. At first I really didn't notice it... not until the first week sixth grade. You see this new guy, Isaac was his name, we soon became the best of friends. Then one day I came to school and... how do I explain this... well... he was... different? yeah, he was different. Now, he didn't act different, no,  he just well he just looked different... he looked hot even... I felt giddy, my stomach twisted up in knots, and I kind of liked it, it felt like going on a rollercoaster, and I didn't want this feeling to stop. He walked over to where I was standing.

        "Hey" He smiled at me. My knees went weak.
        "H-hey..." I managed to stutter out. 'What's wrong with me' I thought. I had never felt this way before.
        "dude, are you feeling alright? your face is bright red."
        "What?" was I blushing? "O-oh no I'm feeling fine, probably just a sunburn"
        "Oh. Well come on!" He grabbed my hand and led me toward the jungle gym.
        The roller coaster feeling left and I didn't want it to. But I continued to talk to Isaac and joke around and I soon forgot what had happened that morning.

        The next time I felt it, I was in the ninth grade just starting my freshman year. I was walking to algebra when I walked passed Isaac, my hand bumped his. I felt a sensation that I can't respectively describe... I guess to put it simply, it felt sort of like an electric shock, it tingled, it felt nice, and it felt safe. I was now old enough to know that this was love. but I was also old enough to realise...


                                                                                                             I'm gay.



        Well I'm ashamed to tell you I skipped Algebra and went straight to the unused storage room and had a full blown panic attack.
        'how can this be happening? I mean I'm a guy right? I'm supposed to like GIRLS! Can i just ignore it? Oh please god help me' I don't know how long I sat in that small room but I do know that at one point I began to cry. 'TODD STOP CRYING, JUST STOP CRYING, IT'S JUST A PHASE! Yeah, a phase! that's all, I'll pretend I'm sick, go home, go to sleep, and wake up the next morning and nothing will be wrong'
        Then someone began to open the door.'not Isaac' I silently pleaded 'please lord make it anyone but him' I look up to see the principal, standing there looking down at my tear streaked face

        "young mam what are you doing in here?"
        "well mam" I said in the most solid voice I could muster "you see I -" I began to cry again 'dammit Todd stop bawling, you're embarrassing yourself'
        "Oh, I see let's call you're paren-"
        "NO!!!" I burst, I didn't want my father to see me like this. " uh, I mean I can drive myself home, though, may I have a permission slip?"
        "of course"

        I drove home that day thinking about what I was going to tell my parents as to why I came home early. I sat on my bed and thought. 'I could tell them that I got sick... no, that wouldn't work they'd see I'm perfectly fine...' I hear the door open. 'crap!!' I only have seconds to think before my mom walks up the stairs. So I did the only thing I thought I could do, I jumped out my window.