Cheers!"Are you… drunk?” Tony asked Loki, raising an eyebrow. “At four in the afternoon?”
“Hmm?” Loki grunted as he stumbled to the sink. Tony looked at Thor who entered the general living space in Stark Tower.
“Can you believe this guy?” Tony said shaking his head. “Drunk, without a party or a girl? We have a word for that here on earth; alcoholism.”
Loki filled a glass with water and downed it in three gulps. “Uhh…” he moaned.
“Drunk?” Thor asked incredulously, glancing from Tony to Loki.
“Drunk? I’m not…” Loki wheeled to face them lazily. “Wait…”
“Loki isn’t-!” Thor began but Loki cut him off with a sneaky wink. Thor blinked in confusion, but a slow smile spread across his face.
“Sober,” Loki slurred. “I say it loud and proud. It’s all good fun.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “I bet two shots finished you off.”
“Three,” Thor corrected him with a snigger. Loki stumbled back against the sink.
“Geez,” Tony said. “I can hardly imagine how messed up you would be if you drank like a real man.”
“Like you?” Thor asked, bewildered.
“Not to be cocky,” Tony smirked. “But… you two live in pretty castles at the end of a rainbow. You look tough, but you couldn’t handle a juice box.”
“A tiny man like you dare challenge us? We are immortals! Gods!” Thor declared, smashing his fist on the counter. “We feasted and drank amongst the Norwegians, a hearty people!”
“In ancient times,” Tony corrected him. “Old times beer is the equivalent of piss.”
Loki smiled drunkenly at Tony. “Thor,” he chastised. “Is it not upon our… our honour to rival this?”
Thor chewed his lip. “A drinking match, you require of us?”
Tony cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms. “A drinking game, not quite as serious. You will be a joke, after all.”
Thor slapped Tony’s shoulder, almost knocking him off his chair.
“Tonight,” Thor declared. “We shall drink together and make merry, but in a competitive fashion.”
“Uh, yeah,” Tony said, settling back into his seat and taking out his phone. “It’s a date.”
“Brother, explain to me this afternoon’s events.” Thor entered Loki’s room where he found Loki reclining with a leather-bound book. Loki put down the book and sat up.
“I spent the night reading and only woke up at four,” Loki smirked. “Would you believe I had only come for a glass of water, but together we tricked Tony into a drinking contest!”
Loki shook with laughter. “It will be priceless,” he said, wiping a tear from his eye. “A Midgardian, challenging two gods to a drinking contest, all because he got too big for his boots!”
"Let’s get started,” Tony said as they sat down at the bar in his penthouse. The drinks were set in a line for each round; one pint and five shots every round. Five deadly rounds.
“To our health,” Thor said, raising his pint glass. Loki and Tony imitated him, raising their glasses and muttering his words. They brought the glasses to their lips and tipped back their heads.
They started making awkward eye contact as they gulped down their beer, but as the tension rose, they narrowed their eyes at each other.
Thor finished first. He had two seconds to belch before he threw back his head for the first of the five shot glasses.
Tony finished next and glared at Thor before he snatched his shot glass.
Loki finished his pint last, with a cold smile on his face, waggled his eyebrows at Tony before he started his shots.
Tony finished his shots first, cracking the base of one glass in the desperate process.
Then came the next pint. They all started very close, but Tony finished first as Loki and Thor decided take it easy, they were sure of how it would end. They smiled at each other knowingly once in a while as Tony began to shoot dirty looks at them.
Pint, shots. Pint, shots. It was heavy. By the second round, Tony glared suspiciously at them. After putting down a shot glass, he stuck his tongue out at the two Asgardians opposite him, who smiled sweetly in response.
Tony got to round three by the time he started swaying like he was on a boat in a storm. His eyes rolled around in head and his hand waved around, knocking over glasses as he searched for his next drink.
“H-how are y-you… W-what?” Tony blinked at them in frustration.
Loki held up a shot glass as if to announce a toast to Tony.
“Never. Challenge. A god. To. A drinking. Game.” Loki took a shot in every pause and finished with knocking Thor’s pint to his own.
Tony lifted his hand and opened his mouth to argue, but belched and slid off his chair. He crumpled on the floor in a giggling heap.
Thor and Loki swallowed the last mouthful of their pints together and looked at each other. They roared with laughter at the same moment, slapping each other on the back and straining to catch a breath until they were red in the face.
Thor sighed happily as he wiped away his foam-stache.
“I heartily appreciate the Midgardian celebration of drinking,” Thor said with a smile.
“Indeed,” Loki said, sitting back and rubbing his hands on his knees with an eager smile on his face. “That was hilarious! The look of surprise when he noticed we weren’t drunk…”
They fell against each other laughing. Tony giggled and slurred some incoherent words.
“Brother, think of the possibilities,” Loki sniggered, rubbing his hands together. “Can you imagine Banner being drunk like that?”