Chapter 20
I purposely took longer to leave the classroom, and I let everyone else go first so that Mica and I could be the last people to go. When we finally went out of the classroom, Mica looked around, then he turned to me."Victoria, I need to talk to you about something." he said seriously.
"What is it?" I asked him.
I was kind of angry that he was acting as if nothing had happened between us. But if he had to talk to me about something serious, then I would listen to him.
"Well. . .you know when I broke up with you yesterday and said all those horrible things to you?" Mica asked.
"Yeah?" I said, feeling sick at the memory.
"I just did it to make the other kids believe that we weren't dating. To save our relationship from them." Mica explained to me.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He didn't hate me after all, and what he did was just an act to stop people at school finding out about us. I was so relieved, but I was kind of annoyed that he didn't try to tell me about it.
"I would never really say anything like that to you. I saw you crying yesterday, and I'm so sorry for hurting you like that. I love you so much, and I feel so bad for being the person that did that to you." he continued.
I could see tears beginning to appear in his eyes, and I felt as if I was going to cry too.
"But. . .but. . .you said that you didn't love me anymore. . .and you called me pathetic. . .and I thought you hated me. . ." I said shakily, trying to hold back my tears.
Then Mica put his finger to my lips, as if to shush me, and then he pressed his mouth to mine and began to kiss me. His kiss was different this time. It was usually soft and gentle, but now it seemed more desperate and passionate. I kissed him back with just as much passion, and I remembered how much I had missed being with him. Ever since I thought he had broken up with me, I had felt like a part of me was missing. But when he kissed me, I felt as if I was whole again. I hadn't even talked to him properly since Saturday, because of everything that had happened. But now we were together again, and that was all that mattered.
We stayed like that for a few minutes, kissing each other outside the English classroom. Mica pushed me back so that I was between him and the wall, and his hands were tangled in my hair, while I had subconsciously lost mine in his chocolate curls. He then removed his hands from my hair, and placed his hands on my hips to bring me closer to him.
"Ouch." I winced as Mica moved his hands over the cuts on my hips.
"Are you okay?" Mica asked me, breaking the kiss.
"Yeah. My hip just kind of hurts." I told him.
"Why, what did you do?" he asked.
I went quiet, and stared at my shoes. I didn't want to tell him the truth, because he would be disappointed in me, but I also didn't want to lie to him.
Mica noticed that something was wrong, and he guessed what had happened immediately.
"You didn't. . .?" he said quietly.
I was still quiet, and I carried on looking down at my shoes.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"No, Victoria. I should be the one saying sorry. I can't believe how horrible I am. How could I have put you through so much pain that you hurt yourself again? How could I do this to you?" Mica whispered.
His voice broke, and I saw a tear roll down his cheek. I had never seen him cry before, and now seeing him in tears made me want to cry too.
"Mica, it really isn't your fault. I should have known what you were trying to do. I shouldn't have got so upset about what happened. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine." I told him.
"No, it's my fault. Don't say it was your fault, because it really isn't." he said.
"Let's just try to forget about it. We're together again now, and that's what matters the most." I said.
"Okay. But I need to ask you something. How badly did you cut yourself?" Mica asked.
I was scared to answer this question, because I didn't want him to feel any more guilty. But I couldn't lie.
"If I tell you, will you promise not to blame yourself?" I asked him.
"Okay." Mica nodded.
"Well, I kind of did it a lot. On my arm, my hips and my thighs." I confessed.
"Show me your arm." Mica said quietly.
I hesitated for a moment, then I rolled up the sleeve of my blazer to show him my cuts.
Mica took my arm in his hand and looked at it, and he looked as if he was going to cry again.
"I'm so, so sorry." he whispered.
"It's okay." I told him, rolling my sleeve back down.
There was a moment of silence, then Mica spoke again.
"Also, we should still pretend that we aren't dating while we're at school. So we can't see each other a lot, but we can still spend time together outside of school, and when we know for definite nobody will see us. So if I yell at you or something, I'm probably just pretending so that people won't suspect anything." Mica explained.
"Okay." I said.
Then the bell went for the end of break, and Mica kissed me again before we went to our next lesson. Where we would pretend that we didn't care about each other.
I couldn't believe that I had taken him back after what he had done to me. But I was just really happy that he didn't really hate me, and that he had a reason for what he did. I don't think I could ever really stop loving him, though.
Because he was the only person who had ever made me feel beautiful.
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