Priceless (A MIKA Fanfic) (Remake)

Chapter 16

I kept walking, tears still spilling out of my eyes. I wanted to keep on walking forever, away from this school. Away from all the horrible other kids. And most of all, away from Mica. But I had English next, so I had to make my way to the classroom.

When I reached my English classroom, I stood outside the door and wiped my tears away as best as I could. I thought about what Mica had said to me.

I'm pathetic. He just pretended to like me because he felt sorry for me. Who would ever love the girl who doesn't speak?

I tried to push those thoughts away, but they kept coming back. On Saturday, everything was okay between Mica and I. Why had he suddenly decided to break up with me? What had I done wrong?

The thing that hurt the most was that he had told me that he didn't love me anymore. Did he ever really love me, though? Or was he just pretending to because he felt sorry for me, like he had said? I wouldn't even be surprised if he never really loved me, because nobody has ever liked me in that way before.

But I believed him. I believed everything he said to me. Maybe it was just that I was so desperate for someone to care about me, for once in my life, that I actually thought he loved me.

After a few minutes of waiting outside the classroom and thinking about what Mica had said to me, the boy himself appeared at the top of the stairs leading to the English corridor. He walked through the doors, and he was about to stand next to me, but then he saw me. He took one look at my puffy eyes and tear-stained face, then carried on walking to the other end of the line, near some of the popular kids.

Then the teacher opened the door, and everyone walked into the classroom, one by one. I sat down in my seat and took my pencil case out of my school bag, and the lesson began.

Emily was picked to give the books out, and when she gave me my book, she gave me a look that told me that she knew she had hurt me, and that she was proud of it. That made all of my emotions come back again, and I felt even worse. The teacher started to talk about how different colours represented different feelings in books and films, which was something I usually found quite interesting. But I couldn't concentrate at all. All I could think about was what Mica said to me.

I tried to hold back my tears, but it was difficult, and a few escaped my eyes. I suddenly felt the same awful feeling in my stomach that I had felt when Lewis, Josh and Bradley had pushed me into the wall that time and tried to make me speak to them.

Oh no.

I felt my throat tighten, and it became hard to breathe, as if someone had taken oxygen from me and left everyone else as they were. My vision was blurry and I felt dizzy, and the sound of the teacher's voice and the chatter of the other kids seemed to have grown ten times louder. I began to feel cold, and I was shivering, but somehow I was sweating, even though I didn't really feel hot. I felt myself start shaking, and I could hear my own heartbeat in my ears.

"Okay," I told myself. "This has happened before. You can get through this."

I tried to breathe, but it was difficult, and I felt myself begin to hyperventilate. I tried again, gasping for air, but it just made it worse. My hands and feet felt numb, as if they weren't even there, and my chest hurt. I was terrified, and I just wanted this to end. What if it got so bad that someone asked about it? What if it never stopped?

Tears began to stream down my face once more as I struggled to calm myself down. The last time this happened, Mica was there, and he had helped me. But this time, he wasn't there. And he might never be there again.

I looked across the room, and my eyes met Mica's. Those beautiful hazel eyes that had looked into mine so many times before. He stared at me for a second, seeing that I was crying again, and I half expected him to come over to me and help me. But then he went back to his work, and I was left to try and help myself.

I told myself not to think about Mica, and to think of anything but him. I attempted to push him out of my mind as I tried to take deep, slow breaths, hoping that I would be able to calm myself down. After a few minutes of this, I had managed to stop panicking, and I had wiped the tears from my face. But I still felt awful, and I was exhausted.

When the bell finally went at the end of the lesson, the teacher let everyone leave the classroom, and I walked to the canteen as fast as I could.