my first kill
Your pov"Hey slut"the school slut Allyson said to me now I just don't have deal with it and I just punched her and got suspended and when I got home my dad called me a slut I don't have to deal with it so I got a knife and slit his stomach and ate his organs ran out and someperson came and got me she has beautiful brown hair Brown eyes tan skin"how did you know where I lived ?"I asked "just a hunch"she said"oh Yea call me hidden."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~writing this at 9:47 were I'm at
sorry if Allyson is your name tell me and I'll change it
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cauze reading this is freak'en messed UP (or down, which ever you choice...)
You were apparently VERY bored cauze this is like a puzzle, and every piece is from a other design of puzzle...
It's original, I'll give you that, but It's not readable enough to get 2 stars... See More▼ sorry...
Am I suppose to be a slut, killer, player, not at fault, crazy, not human, or something else wako like that?
and It's not really readable, so I'd tell you to do it some way like this:
Elina: "I still don't know... so please tell..." (see the accent stuff and stuff like that, and use space btw, it helps)
Characters are supose to have ups and downs, or else they are perfect-ly boring...
I'd tell you more but your probably not gonna finish the story,sooooo yeah...
This is only atvice, but till your next story ^-^