the Diary of a dork

The whole story

November 23rd 5:00 A.M.
I am so excited for school today!!! Guess why? A new girl is moving into town and I am showing her around! I get to skip a half of a day of school AND as a gift back to ME I get to invite 3 friends to eat lunch with me in the teachers’ lounge for 2 weeks starting tomorrow were the fries are real fries not just peeled potatoes!

I hear her name is Greg. What a weird girl’s name! I hear she has a little brother who goes to, Brianna’s school! Poor, Brianna. One more kid who might secretly find out that she is SOOO selfish! But I got up this early so I could plan out what I was going to show her!
Me so excited!
Now you know about my WONDERFUL day I want to get to work, Westchester High is NOT small.

(At school) When I got to my locker I put all my books away and ran to the meeting place where I was going to meet Greg. Not long after I got there some boy walked up to me and said “Hi, You must be Nikki Maxwell!” I just said “Hi, Yes I am but I have no time to spare I am waiting for the new girl, Greg Hefley if I’m correct” But then he started to laugh so hard I thought he was about to cry! I asked him why he was laughing but then he said “Greg Hefley is a BOY and that’s me!” I was shocked! My mouth hung open and I was not happy! But I had to pull it together, FOR THE TEACHERS’ LOUNGE! So we started to walk but then I saw Brandon, Chloe and Zoey all staring at me confused. They just said “What are you doing with Greg?” I just replied “I am showing him around!” Then they all said Okay and walked away. After I finished showing Greg around he asked me something, He said “Why did you think I was a girl?” I was so embarrassed. So I just ran off pretending I didn’t know what was going on!
I was SO happy that I was done talking to Greg. But I spoke to soon! After lunch the office called me down. I was kind of happy because I was gone for MOST of the day and now I get to miss more but Greg, his mom and my mom were standing there talking to one another. Sooner or later they finally saw me standing
Their annoyed and my mom pulled me to them too say hi to Greg. I said hi and for the first time I actually wanted to go to class and stay there for a whole month without stepping foot in my house because my parents knew his parents and Greg was coming over for dinner!!!!!
I thought my life was over! I could so see it! Greg telling them I thought he was a girl there, Parents getting mad! Then leaving (Which would be good) But my mom would be mad and ground me and she would have no more friends! Then Greg would team up with Mackenzie telling the whole school! So I said “nice” and ran to the staff bathroom and locked myself in I screamed so hard that the whole school probably heard me!! But a teacher caught me in the act and I explained my situation and as punishment she said she was going to take me to the office and guard the door so I couldn’t leave! Talk about a stocker! You know I should be guarding a door of a police station or court house while she is locked in!! But my situation is worse than jail! When I got to the principal’s office Greg was no longer there nor his mom. But my mom was there signing me out! She said “Nikki Repibulicivich Maxwell! Greg, His parents and his siblings are joining us for dinner if you like it or not!” I knew she was mad because she said my middle name! But she continued “Nikki, I am taking you home so we can 1st of all work on your manners! 2nd of all we need to get ready because your grandparents and your aunt and cousins are coming over also! But you need to be on your best behavior or else I will take away my promise of getting you a pet for Christmas! But you will be grounded for A MONTH TOO!!!!” I was just thinking No pressure, No pressure at all! When I got home I called the only person I could call. My cousin Victoria. She is in university and today is her day off. I always poor out my feelings to Victoria in a time of need and right now was one of those times! Victoria answered and after I told her my situation she said “Girl, Chill out! Remember I am going to be there at the dinner so don’t even worry about it. Plus, I am dating Greg’s big brother Rodrick! So if they aren’t nice to you I will break up with Rodrick but also, if you get this over with in a good way you will get a dog and no more Rodrick!!! See!!!! It all works out perfectly” But I don’t really believe her! This is horrible
4:45p.m. (Same day)
I can’t bear all of this stress so I will wait. Wait for Chloe and Zoey to PICK UP THEIR PHONES! When they finally do, I will do what I usually do when I am stressed out….. SAY NOTHING. I am not being sarcastic! Usually when I am stressed I don’t speak when I call Chloe and Zoey but they know it’s me….DUH!!!! When I finally got a hold of Chloe 1st of all she said Zoey had to go somewhere and 2nd of all she told me something that would haunt me for the rest of my life if my parents stay friends with Greg’s parents. Makenzie Hollister is cousins with GREG HEFLEY!!!!!!! But the worst part was that she was coming over for dinner too because her parents went to LA for 3 weeks so she had to stay with the Hefley’s! But that wasn’t the last of it! Since Victoria is dating Rodrick and Rodrick is related to Greg, if they get married then me and Makenzie Hollister will be related!!!!! This is awful! But I feel worse for Makenzie’s little sister (Brat Jr.).  








I can’t BELIEVE this happened to ME!!! This is horrible and it is all thanks to my mom! She picks the wrong friends all the time! I can’t take it anymore!!! Maybe I will make her a profile on friends.com?!?

Make a friend today on friends.com!
Name: NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS
Address: STOCK MUCH?
Phone Number: OMG CALLING THE COPS!
Hobbies: Why to follow her?
Facts about you (Job .e.t.c.): OMG STOP!
Email Address: 911! 911!

But then again it don’t think its right for my mom.
Or I don’t do well with sharing….ANYTHING



Me not wanting to give my stuff to charity










November 23 7:30
So if this was going to happen right before MY eyes I think I should deal with it!
I know something that will make Rodrick run and his family and nobody will know it’s me.
But it is TOP SECRET and I can’t even tell you Diary!
But let’s just say Rodrick will run like a “Rat” is “chasing” him out the door.
This will be fun but I wish that I wouldn’t have to plan anything because if my plan goes wrong well
#RATSPOO
HAHAHAHAHAHA...ha…
Well you will get my humor tonight when everything WORKS!
I am so ready to WIN this thing and by win I mean rock this thing! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(Same day) 7pm
I’m so ready to win this thing with my mad skills!
When Greg (the girl), Rodrick (Soon to be scared) and his grand-parents……. OH I meant there parents!
They look so old………………….
WELL, like I said when they all get here I set up Brianna’s pet rat and babies (They are really just mice but Brianna thinks there Rats but it’s better that way because then she won’t manhandle the cage and let the mice free so they can eat ALL of our food) So when I put the “Rats “upstairs. I waited for the after dinner to let them free. I hope Mice are as mean as I had hoped but nice to me!!!
Once they arrived I would set them free! They would go straight for the kitchen because there was going to be cheesed served up. I don’t know why? Maybe to KILL Greg because I know for a fact that Greg is allergic to cheese or so he says he told me on the tour so it is probably true…. Or he would be a BIG FAT LIAR!!!!
So it’s probably not true because I know that Greg is NOT honest at ALL!
Then when they finally got there at 8:17 (17 minutes late!) I got my “Rat” and got ready for battle!!! My mom then called me down for dinner……………… Maybe I shouldn’t do the prank……. Rodrick I-I-I-I-I-is…… Rodrick Hefley! The famous guitar player! I love his work! I was at his talent show and I was at his party! This is a dream come true and I can’t ruin it for MYSELF I’m sure those mice can’t break out of that playdoh cage Brianna made for them so they wouldn’t come sneaking up on her in bed of rampage in the house. I don’t know if Brianna is actually good at art but she keeps going on and on about how she does art at school so unless those teachers have no artistic skill then she HAS to be good





So….

SQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Best day EVER!!
I am so happy that I could WRECK my room!!
But I won’t because my room is super, duper expensive and I can’t afford to lose it just because my FAVORITE guitar player is in my house! You know what…. I can’t clean the chair he sat in because it is too awesome and if I sold that chair I would probably be able to get someone to buy it for 999,999,999,999,999 dollars!! So like I was saying when they got inside Greg told my mom “I have a funny story I want to tell the whole family about my first day of school” But then again I can’t handle this! It is either almost kick my favorite guitar player out of my own house or let Greg the girl tell a humiliating story. I think I will choose NEITHER! I have plans

Run away but save a Picture of me and Rodrick
Stay there and get humiliated
Call Chloe, Zoey or Brandon and asked them what to do
I like number 1 the best but I know number 3 is probably the best thing to do so I called Chloe no answer Zoey no answer Brandon …. “Hello?” He said
“Brandon!!! I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY need you advice! Can you help me?” I asked
Brandon replied “Sure, What’s bugging you?”
Brandon is such a helpful friend I replied “Well, when I was waiting to show Greg around my teacher described Greg to me so “he” sounded like a “she” When Greg was there I said I was waiting for a girl named Greg and then he explained he was a guy but then after the tour Greg asked me why I thought “he” was a “she” and I ran off but his parents and my parents are friends and he is here for dinner and Makenzie is his cousin and she is coming too and my cousin Victoria is dating Greg’s brother Rodrick so if they get married me and Makenzie will be related and I was going to do this prank to make Rodrick scared and break up with Victoria but Rodrick is actually Rodrick Hefley the famous guitar player and I don’t know what to do! Kick him out of face the rash of that story being told to my family with Mackenzie there to film it!?!” I started to pant when Brandon replied “Wow slow down Nikki and listen take a deep breath and before dinner pull Greg aside and ask him not to share the secret and if you need to bribe him with something! But be has polite and stay under the radar from Mad Mac” Then I replied in happiness “Thank you Brandon!” After that chat with Brandon I knew what  

to do. So before dinner I have to pull Greg aside so we can talk
(10 minutes before dinner)
“Greg do you have a sec?” I said proudly to be dealing with this situation like a mature adult should “Yep why Nikki?” He said, “Well, I know that your funny story about your first day of school is going to be talking about how I thought you were a girl and I just wanted to ask you if you wouldn’t tell our families?” Then he replied “Well, Okay now I will have to cover up me saying I have a big story but SURE” I smiled and walked away. I didn’t want to get near “her” HAHAHAHAHA LOL! I still don’t trust Greg but at least he won’t say a word about “that” incident. A few minutes later the mice got out of the cage and everyone went ballistic because Brianna and Mackenzie Told everyone they were mice but I covered it up by saying “THERE MICE YOU IDIOTS!!!”