What could've been

The hard part..Part 1

after calling for months on end with no answer or being hung upon ( i called the power company  to get the new phone number) so i got dicsouraged and being told i was worthless and would never amount to anything and my child didnt want to know me I was givin up hope of us ever being reunited.See  i came from a broken home & not knowing a parent.I was devistated to know i was about to loose the only person i had ever loved and who i knew their love for me was pure..MY CHILD, MY BABYGIRL.
I played around in drugs for about 2 years and got so far messed up with them that I ended up going to jail.Now remember IVE NEVER GAVE UPON MY CHILD>SHES MINE! MY FIRST BORN!!  I was facing some VERy serious charges AGAIN & i wrote a letter to my childs Grandmother telling her that because of the charges i would let them adopt her if they would just send me pictures and reportcards while i was incarerated. I then ended up with a lighter sentence that what was originally said so iwent forth m=with my requesting to see my child even though it had been almost 4 years at this time sine i had saw her or heard her voice.
This hurt me more than the drugs to realize that i could possibly NEVER see my child again.
To this day I am clean and will stay that way because If "lynn" ever wants to get to know me or find out what really happened from her MOMMYS point of view She only needs to ask.Ive never had any more children for fear that when we do find each other she wont think Ive tried to replace her.I've made alot of mistakes and dont want to be judged for them especially by my child.I want to get to know Lynn but am scared that see will reject me because of the things she has been told or shes heard people say about me.