Pony pals

Pony pals

Hi all, this is my 1st story, plz comment what you thought. I don't care how bad you criticise me it will all help with my next book... Enjoy. P.s. this is my fan made story, it is not MLP. P.p.s. the pictures aren't any of my horses. I also use some pictures from MLP:FIM and these pictures are hasbros.

published on July 30, 201379 reads 17 readers 23 completed
Chapter 1.
Pony pals

Pony pals

Once upon a time there was a stallion named flash. He had to leave home, there weren't much houses that appealed to him, so  he decided to check out Maneton. "bye mother" flash said as he hugged his mum, "be safe" she replied kissing him on the forehead As he hoped on the train, Flash saw it was full but he soon saw a seat by a mare, "excuse me ma'am, is this seat taken?" Flash asked. "No, you can sit here" responds the mare.
As the train set of Flash said to the mare "hi, I'm flash. I'm from cloud land" The mare replied "hi, I'm daisy I'm from Pegton". "Where are you going?" Flash questioned daisy, "to Maneton" daisy says "and you?" Flash chuckles "to Maneton too", the two Pegasus start talking. The train jerks to a hult, " hoofbay stop for those going to hoofbay. next stop Maneton" says the speaker, half the ponies in the carriage hop off. The train jerks and sets off again. "Maybe we could look around Maneton together" daisy announced. Flash responds, "sure, it would be nice to not go alone". Daisy and Flash smile at each other. The train attendant comes and says "excuse me ma'am, sir. would u like any refreshments?"
Daisy says "yes may I have a small salt lick please" "and I'll have some hey please" adds Flash. "That'll be €25 for the salt lick and €30 for the hey" says the attendant "I can't afford it" says daisy. "No worries, I'll pay for them" says Flash and pays the attendant. Daisy began to thank him when Flash interrupts her "no need to thank me", they both chatted about what they were gonna do in Maneton till the train arrived at Maneton station.

"All for Maneton this is your stop, next stop Pony Palace" said the speaker. As daisy and flash hoped off the train they looked around in amazement, as they walked down the road they saw a purple pony and Flash asked "excuse me ma'am, do you know where the main hall is?" The pony replied "sure! It's the big Green building. You can't miss it" "thanks" flash said. As they head to the hall they see a filly being bullied, "hey" says daisy sternly "why are you bulling her for" a colt replies "cause she's a blank flank and.. Ow!" A filly elbows him. "We'll that's not nice" Flash Says as he remembers being a colt. The colts and fillys run off. Soon a Yellow stallion comes and says "thank you" to daisy and flash, then gently says to the filly "gem are you ok?" Gem wines " I want to have a cutie mark. I don't wanna be a blank flank" flash looks at the filly and says "what's so bad about a blank flank? It just mean you will have a vary special cutie mark one day" "your right" sniffs Gem. "Thanks, hey are you two new to Maneton?" says the yellow stallion" "anytime" Flash replies, daisy replies "yes", "well welcome to Maneton, enjoy your day" the yellow stallion says as Flash and Daisy enter the hall.
"Hello there" says a grey pony "welcome to Maneton, I'm mayor Grey" "my name is flash" replies flash "and I'm Daisy" daisy adds. "I'll give you a tour of Maneton" the mayor insists, "ok" daisy and Flash reply. After the tour mayor gray says "unfortunately there is only 1 house left, it's nice, it's a 2 bed room. You don't mind do you?" "No, not at all" Daisy says. Flash replies "I don't mind". Soon both Pegasus are tired they farewell mayor grey and head to there new home. When they get there and have a look around Flash says "you can have the large room with the on sweet" daisy thanks him and they both hit the hey.
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Comments (23)

Amore_Cheilo
Wow, ottimo lavoro
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on December 18, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
Thank you
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on September 05, 2013
Moonlight_Dreamer
This was wonderful! I love it!
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on September 05, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
Sassymaker100 thank you. Check out Pony Pals: 2
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on August 19, 2013
Sassymaker100
Very good work bravo:)
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on August 19, 2013
Mikaela.Hyakuya
GREAT WORK I <3 IT
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on August 11, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
Thank you SparrowClawFan
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on August 08, 2013
Rainbow_Bird
Wow this is amazing! I love it!!
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on August 08, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
Thank you Primcess_Twilight. I hope you enjoy the next book.
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on August 08, 2013
Princess_Twilight
wow awesome its cool cause its long
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on August 08, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
Ah, finally finished! Uploading now...
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on August 04, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
I may not finish the book today. I was up late last night watching Jurassic park. I managed to write 1 chapter... Enjoy
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on August 03, 2013
ChokolatLover
Yay! Can't wait!
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on August 02, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
3 to 5 chapters remaining in pony pals. I will add them within 20 hours. I will then add a page called Firestar Stories, feel free to chat to me on there...
Again plz feel free to comment what you think, this is my 1st story so I'd like as much info to help with my next book. ;)
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on August 02, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
*ether
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on August 01, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
I will be writing the rest. I'm up to where I am. I will post the new chapter/chapters rather Saturday, Sunday, Monday (NZ date)
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on August 01, 2013
ChokolatLover
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on July 31, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
I'm about to add the 5th chapter... Plz comment on what I could do to make tho better and plz rate.
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on July 31, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
Thank you DragonFireGirl101:)
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on July 30, 2013
DragonFireGirl8
it is a very good story! Ill try to do a review on this ASAP! :D
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on July 30, 2013
Anime_Fanguy
This is my own twist to MLP. It's called Pony pals till I find a better name. :)
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on July 30, 2013
cady213
You should make more!
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on July 30, 2013
cady213
It's Manehatten, not Maneton... BUT IT'S VERY GOOD! I LOVE IT!
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on July 30, 2013