My mom has cancer and I am prepared for her to die but I am not sad. Is it wrong how I feel?

First, off I do not hate my mother. There are things I do not approve of But I do love her. So my mom has had cancer three times before this. The first time she had it I was about ten years old. I thought she was going to die. Luckily she was able to pull through. Unluckily it came back three times. The first three times it was breast cancer. It has now spread and now it is neck cancer. My mother complains about her legs hurting so I believe that the cancer has spread elsewhere. Since this is her fourth time having cancer and it has spread to other parts, I believe she is going to die. The thing is, I'm sure I will have moments where I will miss her but the thought of her death does not sadden me. I do fear about what will happen financially and how my siblings will cope with it. And since I am a Christian and my mother is not, nor does she have any motivation to be one, I am saddened at the thought that I will not see her when I pass.

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sadlonelykitsune
Life is hard at the times like this...and I don't blame you from that...but...if she passes away...wherever you go...I'm sure that she will always be there to guide you and your beloved siblings...the long as you're ok...of course I wouldn't love my own mother because the terrible things that she did to me...I've been abused, forced into a lot of things and threatened from the past...but...you in the other hand...you were lucky to have someone that cares for you dearly...and that See More▼
sadlonelykitsune
But...what's really important is that you should never lose hope and show how much you love her as much as she does...I'm sure she'll appreciate that of what you did for her...she may either live in the spirit world or in heaven...but deep down inside...she will always be there for you no matter what...because love is something farther more precious that you See More▼
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sadlonelykitsune
@EmmaRenniks
Thank you...I'll do the best as I can to stay alive, no matter how hard I tried by helping others from here...I also appreciate you for supporting me too as well...it was very kind of you... ^-'
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on November 14
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EmmaRenniks
I love your way of thinking and that you know that you have people that care for you. You are a very strong person to keep moving forward with life and I am glad that you are smart enough to know that people will be saddened if you were to leave their lives. We need more people like you in the world.
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on November 14
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sadlonelykitsune
@EmmaRenniks
Of course and you're very welcome miss...πŸ’œ
I know...that's what everyone says to me...they are happy that I'm alive because I haven't committed suicide yet from depression...but...I'm always trying my best to stay positive at all costs...and always willing to help from one person to another...knowIng that I can't leave them behind...the long as See More▼
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on November 13
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EmmaRenniks
I am very sorry that you had to go through such terrible things, but I am glad that you are still alive today. Do not worry, I am not taking offence to anything you have said! I wish there were a cure as well. What do you mean not born as a human being? And this is another reason I am glad you are here, you definitely seem to be a selfless person. Oh thank you, See More▼
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on November 13
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on November 12
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on November 12
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chookity.dookity
Spend time with her. The reality that she might die may not have taken its effect. Pray for her and show her your love. It’s hard to know she could die, and preparing for it is a good way to deal with it.
EmmaRenniks
I agree that I should spend more time with her but I fear that it will make her death more upsetting, not that when she dies I'll be happy or anything but that it'll hurt more, but I understand that I should learn to also consider others feelings more. Yeah I believe that the reality has not taken affect as well, but when my grandmother passed when I was eight, See More▼
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on November 13
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on November 12
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Orange.Soda
I feel like it's not wrong, although odd. This may be that you aren't saddened by it most likely because it'll be relief of her pain, but it is odd in certian ways.
EmmaRenniks
Thank you, she has been through a lot so I do want her to get out of certain things so in some odd way I see this as a kind of escape for her.
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on November 13
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on November 12
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NetherWorks
Im sorry about that but anything could happen
NetherWorks
We are looking for a cure each and every day.
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EmmaRenniks
Yes I know but I guess that's just life. Yeah my mother and I have heard that marijuana helps, so we think that she'll try it this time.
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on November 13
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on November 12
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on November 12
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