what to do about my mams boyfriend

I just want to start out by giving some details about myself before I go into the problem. I'm male, in my early 20s and on job seekers. Currently I am living with my mother and from what I can see, I could be living there a while. Every day I look for a job but so far I have been unsuccessful. I finished university about 8 months ago. I dont have the money to moved out (although I wish I did), by the time I pay for my phone contract, driving license and rent that I pay my mother I have about £1 a week left. I dont even have the money for travel, I have to walk everywhere.

Anyway, I hope that is enough information about myself. My problem is as you probably guessed from the question title is my mothers boyfriend. To simply the situation, he treats me like shit and my mother is fine with it. In fact, im not sure she even cares. I know I am old enough to deal with my own problems but how do you deal with a problem such as mine.

I want to give you an insight into what he is like before I go any further. My mam has known him since she was a young girl, Im not sure why she still knows him but she does. Everytime he sees me, he will ignore me. Even if I am being polite by saying hello, offering him a drink or whatever. But then when he has a problem, regardless of what it is, its my fault. He blames me for things even if I wasnt around. For example, something went missing from my little brothers room, instantly I was blamed and was expected to pay for it (A week I had to miss a driving lesson because I couldnt pay for it as a result). However, when £120 worth of computer games went missing from my room, no one cared.

Yesterday, my mothers boyfriend threatened me because I apparently lied to him. Its not the first time he has threatened me either. I remember as a child he hit me in front of my mother to prove a point to me. I dont remember the point but I do remember my mother not caring. It wasnt a light hit either like you would think, he actually left marks which my mother denies.

I cant address this on an intellectual level like I am used to dealing with things but I cant deal with this in a physical way either. Partly because he is bigger and stronger than me but mainly because I know my mother will side with him and I will be kicked out the house.

Its not the first time either I have been kicked out and I have had no where to go. I remember one time sleeping on a train station because I felt the safest place would be where there should be some cameras. After being kicked out the house I am only allowed back in after I accept all blame and apologise.

Anyway, back to the main problem. I dont know how to deal with my mams boyfriend. He is only like this with me and im not sure why or how to deal with it. In fact, its gone on for so long I dont care why anymore, I just want to deal with this. How am I meant to deal with someone who threatens me and treats me like shit? Especially since no one cares. I feel like an outsider and I know its because of him. He doesnt live with us but hes there 4 times a week (which might as well be living with us). I would love to move out but cant. Nor can I put up with this any longer. I dont know how but since he has been here (which is a long time) my property has been damaged and stolen on many occassions. I feel like an outsider. What do I do?

I was considering going to the police and talking to them about it but I remember when I was young I was assaulted by a man in my street. After phoning the police, the police said they couldnt do anything because it was my word against his (in which my mother sided with that man and since then has never believed me). So in my case, I do feel like they are going to just say similar things and I will just get into more shit with my family.

Has anyone got any advice for me? It would be really useful.

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Answers (6)

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Nightcat
Move in with a friend? This was ages ago sorry
on March 17, 2014
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puglover3000
Set up cameras with proof to tell the police? I don't know it could be illegal or something, i really have no clue sorry.
on May 02, 2013
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Bmac99
I would tell your mom privately. And save up every week to pay for your own place. Is there a friend you could move in with?? If it keeps getting worse then I would bring the police in.
Bmac99
Nevermind, I reread it and you said you don't
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on February 12, 2013
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Bmac99
You got to take a chance. Call your mom out on it next time she sides with him, just say(in private) why do you always side with him? Is he more important than I am? You don't have to dial 911 or anything, just go to the police station and ask them calmly, maybe just ask them what you should do. Do you have a job?
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on February 12, 2013
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cheerios
I have tried talking to my mother many times before, she always sides with him. And I cant save for my own place, I was being literal when I said I have about £1 left every week.

If I bring in the police, what am I ment to tell them? What if they dont believe me? What if they require proof before taking this seriously?
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on February 12, 2013
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lunapie321
ya what she said
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on February 12, 2013
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on February 12, 2013
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Megan3636
i dont really know whta you would do
on February 11, 2013
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Megan3636
thats alot to say
on February 11, 2013
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-3
WWEChampion20
kill em...
puglover3000
really hope you aren't serious...
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on May 02, 2013
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lunapie321
lol
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on February 12, 2013
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Bmac99
Violence is not the answer.... Unless its necessary....
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on February 12, 2013
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on February 11, 2013
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