malicex - Page 8

also if you have such an issue with someone liking a cartoon character who is pretty unproblematic; you should be coming for me for literally wanting to fuuck a (fictional) cannibalistic serial killer who manipulates and gaslights people lmao

the ableism and outright hypocrisy in this situation is so gross.
literally just let people enjoy things (as long as they aren't fuucking harmful!)

i started stimming really hard in art history today bc my professor started talking abt artists i like and he asked me after class if i was okay ?
HOW DO I TELL HIM THAT IM JUST REALLY INTO PROTO RENAISSANCE FLORENTINE ART

people will be like OMG i have such a thing for age gaps i’m 18 and my boyfriend is 20 ??
me: i am madly in love with 55 year old danish actor mads mikkelsen

not to brag but hannibal lecter is my boyfriend and we do murder people together

this sea is too familiar
how many nights have i drowned here?
how many times have i drowned?
/lyrics

i'm gonna go on a little rant so:
if you think being a "yandere" is cool Please get away from me
i have become obsessed with people i am romantically interested in so many times in my life and every single time i have scared them away because i get so possessive and weird.
the yandere trope is, by all means, an ableist representation of BPD; a disorder I HAVE.
BPD affects all my relationships negatively, and frankly, the fact that you CHOOSE TO ADOPT my mental illness symptoms See More because you think it's CUTE, disgusts me beyond belief.
now i'm not saying that I would ever actually hurt someone because i love someone, but there have been plenty of times my brain has made the switch from "love" to "lovesick" and my intrusive thoughts rule me for days, weeks even.
i nearly hospitalized myself twice in the past 2 weeks because of this. it's NOT CUTE!

a ~life update~
good things from the past few days:
- i talked to my parents over the phone for the first time since I came out - they seemed okay. No hard feelings I think
- i set up an appointment with a therapist who specializes in helping trans people (my current therapist is kinda transphobic)
- i started my classes at school! they are going well so far :)
- i officially started going by will with my professors/peers
bad things from the past few days: See More
- i was bleeding profusely for several days because I stopped taking my estrogen pills (it was making me dysphoric; but now i get heavy periods/migraines again lol)
- i was hella sick for like 2 days bc i forgot to take my meds and i was literally too nauseous to Take the Pills
- i almost hospitalized myself twice. i think i'm getting better tho
indifferent things (neither good nor bad)
- i think i'm starting to get over my current FP. it is a painful process but I think it'll be good for both of us in the long run...

i hope we both die
/lyrics

ok so my mom just basically said that i can't be trans bc i have autism (which she hid from me for decades, might i add)
and is now blaming me for her issues with my father and their marriage

my mom isn't responding to my texts

i sent the email and now they aren't saying anything im terrified

i just finished writing a very long coming out letter to my parents
i plan on sending it today 0_O