i feel like making lists tonight so. here’s a list of stupid things my emetophobia has made me do
-i hardly ever use public restrooms bc i’m SO scared someone will come in and throw up
-in fifth grade some kid threw up bc he ate milk and cereal and was lactose intolerant and i refused to go back in the classroom for the rest of the day
-during flu season i scrub my hands. raw
-ran into my friend/situationship in an elevator. he brought up that he was sick and i freaked out See More ab it. legitimately panicking bc i was scared he had some sort of stomach virus and id catch it. he later informed me that he just had a cold and i ended up bringing him cough drops and it made me look really stupid.
-my high school crush tried to hug me at my senior prom and i refused bc he’d j been sick. he wasn’t even really sick. he’d mixed a bunch of different alcohols and it made him sick. even still i told him no and i feel awful ab it looking back bc he was so tired and upset because he wanted to go home but like ?
-legitimately will fast for 72 hours if i think i’d been exposed to something.
-i hardly ever use public restrooms bc i’m SO scared someone will come in and throw up
-in fifth grade some kid threw up bc he ate milk and cereal and was lactose intolerant and i refused to go back in the classroom for the rest of the day
-during flu season i scrub my hands. raw
-ran into my friend/situationship in an elevator. he brought up that he was sick and i freaked out See More ab it. legitimately panicking bc i was scared he had some sort of stomach virus and id catch it. he later informed me that he just had a cold and i ended up bringing him cough drops and it made me look really stupid.
-my high school crush tried to hug me at my senior prom and i refused bc he’d j been sick. he wasn’t even really sick. he’d mixed a bunch of different alcohols and it made him sick. even still i told him no and i feel awful ab it looking back bc he was so tired and upset because he wanted to go home but like ?
-legitimately will fast for 72 hours if i think i’d been exposed to something.
identikit
omg also ive been putting off my wisdom teeth removal for years bc i’m scared the anesthesia is gonna make me sick (i can’t j have local unfortunately <\3 my teeth are fused to my jaw or something so they have to actually cut bone which makes it Much more difficult than usual
on June 01, 2023
on June 01, 2023
ranking concerts ive been to
1. mustard service: my fav band and best concert of all time, made some friends, got high, not only did i get to meet the band, their drummer winked at me several times and i got the setlist and got it signed
2. elton john: actually life changing. it was ELTON JOHN and i had decent seats. was planning to go w a guy but he couldn’t get tickets.
3. black midi: LOVED the concert however the guy i went with ended up running into another friend of his See More and they ran off together. fortunately i was w my best friend too so we had fun but tbh that kinda messed up the whole experience.
4. crywank prob ab equal to BM. i prefer bm to crywank but both times i saw them i had a better experience apart from that. also i got to meet crywank + after the second time i saw them me and my friends had a smoke sesh in the park and raided a 7-11 at midnight
5. trans siberian orchestra: idk i was w my parents and i was having a panic attack the whole time bc i was scared someone was gonnna throw up or smth. my dad tripped the guitar player by accident.
1. mustard service: my fav band and best concert of all time, made some friends, got high, not only did i get to meet the band, their drummer winked at me several times and i got the setlist and got it signed
2. elton john: actually life changing. it was ELTON JOHN and i had decent seats. was planning to go w a guy but he couldn’t get tickets.
3. black midi: LOVED the concert however the guy i went with ended up running into another friend of his See More and they ran off together. fortunately i was w my best friend too so we had fun but tbh that kinda messed up the whole experience.
4. crywank prob ab equal to BM. i prefer bm to crywank but both times i saw them i had a better experience apart from that. also i got to meet crywank + after the second time i saw them me and my friends had a smoke sesh in the park and raided a 7-11 at midnight
5. trans siberian orchestra: idk i was w my parents and i was having a panic attack the whole time bc i was scared someone was gonnna throw up or smth. my dad tripped the guitar player by accident.
on June 01, 2023
brewlifeupdates:
-still in ohio atm but i found an apartment in a small neighborhood j south of the loop. as soon as i have the money for the initial fee i’m moving back
-still dealing w whatever horrid cough thing i have but it’s no longer insufferable.
-started talking to someone else they’re real cute and make cool music. my harem keeps expanding
-super into kafka rn
-still in ohio atm but i found an apartment in a small neighborhood j south of the loop. as soon as i have the money for the initial fee i’m moving back
-still dealing w whatever horrid cough thing i have but it’s no longer insufferable.
-started talking to someone else they’re real cute and make cool music. my harem keeps expanding
-super into kafka rn
on June 01, 2023
one year ago today i said goodbye to the person who inspired some of my favorite songs that i’ve written. i’m notorious for getting around; but truly, i find it hard to settle for anything else knowing it might not be as perfect as what i had with this person. i loved him like art and he loved me like a dog.
on May 30, 2023
guys my type pattern has been broken this is insane (it literally hasn’t, it is yet another european musician who wears big sweaters and listens to nerd music) (the only difference is that this time they’re a singer and not a bassist or guitarist)
my rizz with europeans needs to be studied. over the past year or so i have pulled people from england, czechia, the netherlands, russia, poland, spain, and ukraine. i have never left america. i think that i have not touched an american man since like 2021. the only american who wasn’t a woman that i’ve had anything with since then was this one person for like See More three weeks my freshman year of college
on May 29, 2023
on May 29, 2023
j starting talking 2 this person and it started as a joke (one of my best friends is in a band w them and we matched on tinder) but lowkey i kinda like them and we’re flirting unironically now
on May 29, 2023
chicago music scene is crazy tbh i miss it sm
the trailer my family is trying to sell has people interested so hopefully i’ll be able to go back soon so i can get some stuff done w my band:)
on May 29, 2023
on May 29, 2023
two weeks ago i was thriving in a high rise in the city and now i j rolled over in bed and came face to face with a raccoon through my window. hate ohio need to go back 2 chi
on May 27, 2023
tmi Ooops my period was almost a week late and my mom was starting to think i was pregnant or something (literally haven’t touched a man like that since like january)
on May 27, 2023
i Hate people who act like cuntts j bc they’re morally better than me Ok so i guess you don’t smoke weed and you’ve never told anyone to kill themself cool do u want a sticker or smth
on May 27, 2023
why is it that me as a woman w bpd attract specifically other women, narcissistic evil men, and this one specific genre of weird men who like math rock and play rhythm section instruments
on May 26, 2023
butterfly effect wild i
ur telling me if i did not miss my train to go home i wouldn’t have taken my production course
ur telling me if i did not miss my train to go home i wouldn’t have taken my production course
basically: missed my train —> the former friend that made me miss the train gave me drugs as an apology for missing said train —> one night i took said drugs, underestimated their potency, ended up passing out and when i woke up the next morning (still high) my parents were calling to tell me a family member died —> went on a walk w my friend (who was gonna help See More me produce) to distract myself —> ended up cuddling w him for three hours and confessing interest in one another —> quickly we realized that there’s no way we’re gonna be able to get anything done bc we can’t keep our hands to ourselves apparently—> had to learn to do it my damn self —> took production course
on May 26, 2023
on May 26, 2023
monthly reminder (as of this month) that i didn’t fake my death and anyone who who says i did r cuntts who don’t know a thing ab suicidal tendencies and psychotic behavior ?
on May 26, 2023
geordie greep posted some sad goodbye message thing and this better not mean black midi is breaking up i can not handle that rn
on May 26, 2023
qfeast summer 2022 was prime tbh i stole a bunch of peoples passwords by pretending to be the qfeast team and saying their account was encrypted and their personal information was in danger and then i think the same night the foot edit was posted and i laughed so hard i almost threw up
on May 25, 2023
i keep seein the “dutch is an unserious language geef me een klap papa” thing in tiktok slideshows and it’s so real. also gloves are handschoenen and bra is bustehouder and rhinoceros is neushoorn its like german and english got put in a blender with some 90 proof alcohol
on May 25, 2023