clown.boy - Page 29

what the fuᴄk

Sweet Transvestite is such a good song and i'm so upset that i can't sing it out loud

i'm gonna put you in the fuᴄking milk jar

just came out to my fuckkin mom as trans lol ksdjn

i was shaking but, she handled it better than i thought she would.
she was accepting but still said to "wait it out" because i "might not feel the same way in the future". and she isn't wrong, i mean, lots of people do change their minds. she talked about how she sort of felt the same way when she was young but different bcz she never really got upset about looking like a girl like i do.
she also said she'd get someone to talk See More to me about it like a gender therapist or something.

i'm feelin good about this man. can i get a W in the chat gamers?

i fuckkin love Suehiro Maruo

okay so!! my new instagram account is @clown.vinny !!!
i'm slowly re/posting things i feel should be kept though, a lot of things will be left behind,,

however, the old account will remain standing not just because i can't get back into it but,
because i feel it's what's best

here's to a new (and hopefully better) start!

i'm gonna have to make a new acc on ig bcz shit keeps happening to dev.vinny..
fuckkin sucks shit but i needed a cleanup anyway

bru y'all are rlly sleepin on sewerslvt, this fu ckin slaps bro

shit wait no i had a crush in 8th grade too no nonono no ow ow owie noooo

i'm gonna try to fight the pain nd listen to him bcz i don't want to let those butthole-brains ruin jack for me

also thanks for likin the banana lol

bro, bcz of 8th grade nd last year, every time i listen to jack stauber i get a real bad aching pain in my chest and it hurts so much nd i just start hurting both emotionally and physically skdjsnd

dude this sucks i hate this

i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

tw: i'm making a joke but sdjkssd don't read metamorphosis/ emergence
like. i know the joke is old nd all but i just read it last night and it's not fun
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might fuckk around and reinvent my image to make friends and then go out with someone i barely met then go on dates with old creeps for money then get kicked out of my place by my mother because of something my father did then dropout and move in with my sketchy boyfriend then get into hard drugs then end up homeless and addicted to heroin then get beat up and robbed by rich kids then almost die from an overdose then live perfectly happy with the daughter i was determined to keep

i'm warming up to her. everything seems fine now
maybe i just needed to cry a little

this wasn't supposed to be a vent but it ended up being one
is it rsd? is it my fear of abandonment? yes
anyway tw
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i'm still trying to wrap myself around it,, skjsn i mean. it's a big change.
i actually genuinely feel like the child of a former single dad that's started dating a new lady.
i'm excited but nervous. i want to trust her but i don't, not right now. i want to be a 'good son' but i'm worried i'll become angry or resentful. i'm happy for him but sad knowing what it means for me. i think i'm also terrified knowing what's gonna happen.

he did tell me that it didn't mean he didn't love me any less and that i'm still his kid but. it's just so hard knowing that this is the same thing that happened last time. his responses are already starting to sound different. soon, he'll start talking to me less and less. i'll be left alone again. he'd forget about me. just like last time. now i'm going to lose him too. i'm going to lose him to her. she's so much better. i'm going to be alone again. i can't do it. i'm so afraid. it hurts so much. i want to believe him but i can't. i can't trust her and i can't believe him. everything is different. they are fixed and beautiful and i am ruined and worthless. i can't do it again. he's going to leave. it hurts so much. i'm going to rot.